The Butterfly's Heart
by La Vita Nuova
Summary: Bella was lost to them all, leaving the Cullens behind with nothing more than her haunting memories. Four years later that memory comes back to life, but when she's welcomed back with open arms, not everything is as it seems. Can she convince herself to ever love Edward again, especially when Jasper is no longer forced to hide in the shadows?
1. The Beginning

******Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the properties of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**  


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**The Beginning**

I could hear her voice even before I stepped onto the old wooden floor, the soft melodic sound of her carefree laughter that had followed me through my childhood. I was too panicked to think beyond finding her, but as the sunlight poured through the large window down onto the studio floor below I could find no trace of her with my eyes. Following her voice I stood warily in front of what seemed to be a cupboard door. I hesitated for just a fraction of a moment and then whipped the doors back, the sight of the old thick television and the whirring of an archaic video tape sending a hollow realisation down to the tip of my toes. I could already feel his eyes watching me, hidden somewhere within the room. The only thing keeping me on my feet was the rush of adrenaline still pouring through my system.

I turned too late, he was already upon me, his lank blonde hair and demonic red eyes rolling my stomach with fear and comprehension; death had found me.

He played with me, breaking bone after sickening bone, the smirk on his lips broadening to a grin as the screams I'd stubbornly tried to hold back tore from my throat.

"Is there anything you'd like to say to your darling Edward before I destroy you?" He asked, and I noticed a slim black video recorder in his hand, the lens splattered with sharp, crimson blood.

I forced my eyes open and focused on the tiny red light, saying the only words I needed him to hear.

"I love you Edward."

His bellowing laughter filled the room and though my mind told me to fight back, to not give up if I had even one ounce of strength left, I merely groaned in pain when he lifted me into his arms. I felt his cool breath on my skin and then his tongue swept stickily up my neck.

"Mmmm, such a shame you didn't get a chance to taste her Edward, because let me tell you, her blood is fucking divine…maybe I'll leave you a drop behind…but then again maybe not." I felt my whole body begin to drift away, and just as I was on the abyss of finding peace, a violent fire exploded in my neck.


	2. The Threat

**a/n: Thank you so much to all of you who read/reviewed or alerted the first chapter, especially because there was actually so little take away. Anyway, here's the next chapter for you and more of an insight into where we're heading...hope you enjoy!**

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**Four years later...  
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The putrid scent of fear clung in the air as jagged breaths fell onto my torn and twisted skin. It felt like I'd been lying here forever, the weight of the man who seemed to delight in my pain bearing down heavily on my back as they asked the same questions over and over again.

"Tell me about the newborns..." A sharp voice commanded from above me and the memory of a malevolent pair of blood-red eyes sent an unbidden wave of terror down my spine. "...Or perhaps you would like to know what it feels like to have those pretty little fingernails ripped off?"

The name wasn't one I'd heard spoken before, but it did nothing to soften the image of the monster whose venom was now coursing through my system. My hands instinctively curled themselves up into fists, but I knew nothing I did would stop them if that was what they really wanted.

"I've told you everything I know." I cried out desperately, my voice raspy and strained from the arms holding me down firmly to the cold marble floor. It was no lie either, if there were words that could have placated my torturer, I would have spoken them hours ago.

"Please, I just want to go…" The word 'home' was tipped on the very edge of my tongue, but I couldn't bring myself to say it, leaving the plea hanging hopelessly in the air.

"Enough of this game Aro, I'm hungry and your plaything is getting in the way of our feast, we have the confession of the redhead, you've taken everything you need from her mind, what more do you need? This one is nothing special, other than her looks perhaps... but really what are we gaining from this?" I tried to twist my head to see who had spoken with such obvious boredom, only to find sharp nails delving deep into my scalp, bringing an involuntary gasp of pain with them.

"You're not the only one allowed to have fun around here you know Caius!" My torturer responded arrogantly and I stored the names Aro and Caius in my head, resting Aro's next to the image I had of ruby red eyes, an impressive widows-peak and slick, black hair.

"Very well then, let us not delay any longer. Bring the red-head to me and we'll end this all now." I didn't hear any response from within the room and I realised he was talking about the only other person in the world I held even a fragment of feeling for.

I was still being pressed aggressively into the floor when footsteps began to echo all around me and I tried my best to hold my muscles rigid, refusing to be drawn to a place of agony purely to satiate my curiosity.

"Give me your hand little one." Aro requested with a sickly cadence and though I was desperate to appease the man who held my life in his hands, I couldn't get the image of his threat out of my head, and so I hesistated.

It didn't take long as the pressure on my back sustained to realize it wasn't my hand he was asking for and with an all too familiar clarity, I listened to a reluctant yet melodic response; "Of course Your Highness."

Just hearing her voice fill the room sent my stomach spiralling. I had known she was here, known she was inevitably going to bear the brunt of their wrath, but the certainty of her fate left me feeling hollow.

"Now, tell me how you came upon your friend here? Ah, I see. Interesting…yes, very interesting indeed." Aro mused delightedly, but a loud sigh from across the room stole my attention.

"What could be so interesting now that you didn't see before, brother? You've been playing these foolish charades all afternoon, and what might have been an amusing game to begin with has quickly turned into a bore. Perhaps you simply don't have the stomach for these sorts of things." The merry little chastisement in the voice I believed belonged to Caius slithered under my skin and I wondered if this might be the man who would light the flame to end us all.

"This one can die, but the other will be of some use to us yet!" The cold voice of death replied and that last little residue of hope spilled out beneath me onto the icy marble floor. I didn't know whether I had just been saved or doomed and this time I wriggled desperately, ignoring the sharp pain of Demetri's claws to find out my fate.

"Finally a decision! I can't wait to hear why we're saving the more useless of the two though, at least the other one showed a little initiative." Caius drawled sarcastically as cold hands yanked me from the floor, but I kept my eyes low; unwilling to show them just how broken I truly was.

"You will look at me when I go out of my way to save your life child. Now give me your hand, unless of course you would like me to change my mind?" Aro asked dangerously and shakily I stretched out my arm. I raised my eyes enough to see a black cloak lined with beautiful scarlet silk, swirling impatiently close to my bare feet.

"I said look at me!" He bellowed and this time my eyes lifted compliantly to find his features twisted with anger. I could see an ice-blonde devil watching me intently from over his shoulder and I visibly shuddered, his piercing attention only adding to my already palpable fear.

"My name is Aro, this is my brother Caius." The twist of his head indicated behind him and I tried not to notice the way Caius twitched with malevolence when our eyes met.

"It seems that while your accomplice here has nothing at all to redeem her, you my dear, have something of a history which is fascinating." Aro's voice lulled my eyes back to his and I couldn't help finding myself twisting strangely within his focus, nodding my head robotically to mirror his with no real intent of my own.

"You understand we can't be too careful when we hear there are those who have no respect for the laws we've rigidly put in place; those who care for their own retribution above the lives of others. Normally I would simply offer such a fool over to my brother to do with as he please, but not you, not in this case." His eyes trailed poignantly to Victoria's body held firmly in the hands of several guards, and I nodded again, unsure why he simply hadn't decided to kill me too.

"Yes I know all about your friend, I know all about how her mate James was your sire, how he was killed, and I know that from today forth she will be nothing more than a useless memory to us all. Poor, sweet, foolish Victoria." He lamented sourly.

With one sharp flick of his wrist the hands which had held me shrugged away and a gargantuan body appeared by Aro's side, an unapologetic grin on his face.

"Now Caius, tell me what would you like to see done with your newest toy?" Aro asked, his focus turning from me. A terrible look flittered across the blonde demon's eyes and without thought I wrapped my arms around myself, harsh pain radiate across my healing back with the movement.

"I'm too bored now to think of anything fun, but it's only fair that we let Jane and Alec play a little, don't you think?" Caius replied drolly, clapping his hands together once.

I followed several pairs of eyes as they swept across the room and watched as from a low archway, two petite figures appeared. Their statures were so small in a room full of giants, but as they swept through to take their place by Caius's side, I could plainly see there was nothing innocent in their soulless eyes, nothing but a bold, dark malice.

Only once they were standing tall at Caius's side did they lift their heads to face us all and as the boy swept his gaze among us, he lingered on me with a wickedly placed wink. A memory shot into my mind and I knew without a doubt that I had seen him before. He had been at the warehouse where Victoria and I had been attacked and brought here. Vividly, I could remember him walking into the room, thinking perhaps he was a nomad, but then one by one bodies had begun to stumble around me, falling to the floor as they called out meaninglessly. The last memory of him I could recall was his bewilderment as he approached me, but then a sharp knock from behind had turned my whole world black as a second attacker held me in place, binding me with steel and fabric until I was freed in this terrible place.

"My dear, of course you've met Alec before, such a pity that you didn't get to experience his wonderful gift for yourself." Aro said, breaking into my reverie, unaware I had just connected a few misplaced dots myself. A cold smile brought life to his glimmering eyes and I twisted my body with his to face the childlike twins, no hint of emotion escaping from either. "I'm sure you'll enjoy the show just the same though."

Some primal instinct screamed in my head that if I wanted to survive this day, then I needed to please the man standing in front of me. Looking around I quickly confirmed there would be no means for escape from this gold gilded, heavily guarded room, not at anything other than my captor's will. So taking in a slow a shaky breath, I opened my mouth and spoke. "I'm sure I will."

The words emerged barely above a whisper but it was enough, and as I watched on the only person I could remotely contest to caring about in the entire world, began to writhe in unspoken agony on the floor.

"Please….please…kill me now." She gasped out between terrified screams, her dagger like fingernails leaving deep slashes across her skin as she tried to quell the non-existent flames created only in her mind.

"Oh I do love a good show." Caius clapped delightedly, his perfect white teeth glinting in the low light as he leered at me in what looked like victory.

The screams went on and on, and sickeningly what had at first been simply horrendous to watch became something I couldn't tear myself away from. I desperately wanted to ask them to stop, but I could feel them scrutinizing me, waiting for me to break so they could tear me apart too.

Suddenly the screaming stopped and I watched as two huge men walked gracefully across the floor. They lifted Victoria effortlessly by her arms and held her sagging and torn in the air. The room felt thick with baited anticipation and then without warning and with savage ferocity, they began to rip her apart, throwing the pieces into a horrendous, haphazard mound of torn flesh. I forced myself to watch as Victoria's eyes met mine in a silent plee I couldn't answer, but then they were gone too and my eyes dropped to the floor. I couldn't help but notice parts of her twitching; fragments of fingers were crawling over unrecognisable body parts looking for their rightful place, eyeballs darting back and forth in desperation. I felt physically nauseous but I knew what a mistake it would be to turn away.

"She's not dead." I gasped and as I lurched forward with no idea how to make this right, a cold hand encircled my arm.

"You made your choice a long time ago my dear; I suggest you don't go and make an equally foolish one today. Now, perhaps we should talk about you… shall we?" Aro clicked his fingers once and I watched on as the occupants of the room parted as another man in a sweeping black cape entered the fray, barely acknowledging the twitching pieces of Victoria being thrown into a bed of flames as he walked by.

My nerves began to erupt as the room transformed from jeering chaos into absolute silence, and as the strange new man joined Aro and Caius on a beautiful dais, I knew my absent heart should have been pounding violently in my chest.

"Who are you?" I whispered out under my breath, but small trills of laughter from within the onlookers make it clear that my words had been heard.

"We are The Volturi." The third man on the platform replied with something a little harder than scorn and I kept my silence as he turned to Aro, his eyes drawn down in anger. "Aro, why have you brought me here for this? Is she even one of us?"

"Demetri, for the sake of expediting this process, can you attest that she is one of our kind?" Aro asked, dismissing my ignorance and turning to the man whose teeth had been tearing me apart all day.

"She tastes no different to any of the others." Demetri responded with a lazy smile and I winced to think who else he had held down and ripped apart with such ease.

"She was changed as we all were, I saw it in the mind of the red-head." Aro shared and though it looked like he was about to say more, Caius interrupted him with a hissing anger. "Then what are we waiting for? She is one of us. She played her part in the plot, putting us all in jeopardy of being exposed just as the other girl did. Therefore she should be eliminated!"

"You are too hasty as always my brother. Do you remember four years ago when Carlisle's boy came crawling at our feet asking to be put out of his misery? All because some silly human pet of his had gone and found her death at the hands of a nomad." The mutterings from around the room told me this wasn't something only Caius might remember and as I turned my head back to the three brothers, I noticed a careful look passing between them.

"Well, it looks like that silly little human isn't quite as dead as he thought, is she Bella?" I raised my eyes to meet his, acknowledging the use of my name. I knew a little of the story regarding my change, how I had been kept as a toy by a family of vampires. How one of them had claimed me as his own. But I didn't have a single memory left of my weaker days and had never felt one iota of inclination to pleasantly go and search out those who had carelessly led the way for my awakening.

"You're certain of what you told me about the bonds surrounding Edward Cullen?" Aro asked turning to the man who had been last to join them on the dais. He replied with no words, but simply returned the question with a calmly raised eyebrow.

"Then I think it would be ideal if we sent her as a gift to our old friend Carlisle, after all that boy of his told us it was where she belonged!" Aro's hand gently stroked the arm of his chair as he spoke and if the two men by his side were shocked by his words, neither showed it.

"Hmmm yes, what an interesting idea. Though such a shame we won't be there to see Edward's acceptance when he realises what a fool he was to believe himself possible of finding a true bond with a human. He's a moral fool that one too, just think of the things we could have him do for us in the name of misdirected love." Two pairs of eyes glinted menacingly at Caius's words and I pressed my fingers deep into my palm, anything to stop myself from voicing the desperate questions lining up in my mind.

"Isabella, you would like that wouldn't you? Don't forget that it wasn't so long ago my brother would have burned your body in the same pyre your friend is currently enjoying. It isn't too much to ask is it…we give you back your life and all you have to do is make Edward your little plaything?" Aro rose from his chair and swept towards me, his bony finger trailing over my cheekbone as he waited for my response.

"No, it's not too much." I stuttered out, not knowing how I could force a stranger to love me, let alone manipulate him as they were clearly asking. Especially a stranger who I shared a very convoluted history with.

"How wonderful, but of course you must both come and visit us soon. I'm sure when Edward sees his lost love returned to him, he will want nothing more than to personally thank those who saved you both from near death. And of course it won't be long before he will do anything you wish, will it my dear?!" Dropping his finger from my cheek with his gleeful words, I struggled to ignore the way my body wanted to slip away from his, desperate to put space between us before he tried to touch me again.

"What of their gifts?" The third, nameless man asked and I turned to see him looking at me speculatively, his interest now clearly piqued.

"She may be weak in strength and strange to look at, but she has a strong shield, no-one in the guard has been able to penetrate it; not even Aro!" Caius replied a little smugly and I stored the information away, not only of my own strength but that the place I was headed held Vampires who were more than they seemed.

"Before you go, perhaps you'd like to share with my brothers just who exactly you and Victoria were plotting against? After all, it's only fair we let them in on the piece de resistance isn't it!"

Vivid memories of blood and gore filled my mind, endless hours of training and punishment, of the scars that I carried, the majority of which lay hidden beneath my flesh. I found myself unconsciously back in that place where each day was a fight to survive, the only grace the woman who had been destroyed before my very eyes.

"Ahh yes, I'm more than aware you aren't the naïve little thing you appear, the human characteristics you've retained are quite impressive, but I've seen you in Victoria's mind, I've seen you happily claw your way through opponents both bigger and stronger than you. Surely such an innocent question won't defeat you!" He goaded.

I shook my head ready to tell him I wasn't that person, that I had only ever fought to survive, but before I had even processed the movement, his fingers were clawing around my throat.

"You will give me the respect I am due, Isabella and you will answer my question instead of shaking your head like a scared little girl. Your shield might be strong but don't forget that with one word I could have you torn apart and scattered all over the globe… can you imagine the torment, immortality stretched out in front of you with no hope of being whole." His accompanying grin was gleefully twisted and I felt my body curl away in response.

Almost as quickly as his mask had fallen, it slid seamlessly back into place, his fingers leaving an unwanted trail of ice as they lingered down my neck. "Victoria might have been seeking revenge for the death of her mate, a noble cause in itself, but you have no honour to hide behind. Count yourself lucky that we have deigned to give you a second chance. You would be a fool to forget that gift for even a fraction of a second… because if we find you have turned against us, if we find you have aligned yourself with anyone other than the Volturi again, we will rescind our generosity and make no mistake Isabella, we will find you... wherever you go."

He paused, leaving the crystal clear threat to hang in the air and I felt a cold blanket of fear settle over my body; I couldn't see a single way out of his influence that didn't end with my head on a fiery stick or my hands wrapped around a foreign heart.

"Now tell everyone who you were plotting against with that little army of yours." Aro demanded, his lips raised in a sickly smile.

This time I didn't resist, I opened my mouth freely. "The man who killed my sire; Edward Cullen."

The room seemed to erupt in rapture and though it took a few moments to realize everyone saw this as a wonderful twist of fate, I felt my own world shifting into chaos around me.

"I find myself intrigued as to whether Carlisle will be foolish enough to let such a viper back into his home, let alone how you will manage to turn you mind from murder to love." Caius threw out delightedly and I kept my mouth closed, disgusted that we had just shared the same thought.

"Finding your mate is a wonderful thing, but losing one will damn our kind forever. In many ways you're lucky we have saved you the potential for such a loss." The words of the third man were spoken with such simplicity, almost in kindness. But the dark truth underneath was screaming at me, I wasn't going to be playing this rouse for a day or a year, this tragedy was going to be my life and the happiness of finding my mate was never going to be a reality for me. With gritted teeth I nodded politely at his wry smile, dropping my head in forced reverence as I thanked them for their generosity.

I tried not to allow myself to feel anything close to relief as I was finally escorted from the castle, but before I could really sort anything out in my head, Demetri wrapped his large arm around me, and it took all the willpower I possessed not to shrug him away.

"It's a shame you can't stay, I like the way you taste." He was barely inches from my body when he finished speaking and it wasn't only proximity that sent a wave of terror through every atom in my body. His bright eyes turned to the promise of death and his lips curled from a light smile to a heavy snarl as he spoke again. "Of course, maybe I'll get another chance sooner than you think, after all I doubt you're going to get Cullen to do anything you say anytime soon and don't think we won't come knocking if you don't make that pretty little fucker yours!"

With a hard shove I pushed him back from my body and as we walked out into the frozen night, I wondered just how right he might be.


	3. The Cullens

The private jet Aro provided to remove me from his presence was beautiful in its luxury, but the knowledge of what I was about to do completely eradicated any enjoyment I might have found in travelling so well. I tried several times to find out where exactly our destination was from Demetri, but while he was happy to tell me all the ways in which I was about to fail, he wasn't willing to divulge anything I truly wanted to hear. I tried to tune him out as best I could, turning my focus to what exactly I was willing to do to convince the Cullens and more importantly Edward to let me back into their lives.

When the plane finally touched down after what felt like a cold tremor of eternity, I stepped into the cool night, only to find a sleek black car already awaiting our arrival. I'd barely managed a clean lungful of air when Demetri shoved me forward roughly and all I could think was how much I didn't want to be thrown back into yet another suffocating, enclosed environment.

I could tell from the familiarity of the road signs as they whipped past the tinted windows that we were back in America, but there was little left to decipher other than town names I didn't recognize and speed limits we didn't ever quite seem to obey. Thankfully the drive wasn't a particularly long one and even though I was expecting door to door service, I only managed to feel mildly surprised when I was deposited unceremoniously in the middle of the road. Only realising after a thorough look around that I was also at the bottom of what appeared to be a long, untended driveway.

"I think you can find your way from here." Demetri insisted with a short wave of his hand, his face breaking into a wide grin as I looked uneasily from the car, back to the gloomy path.

"Surely you're not afraid of the dark?" He jeered, no doubt seeing my hesitation. Without a word I turned from him, only to find after a few steps that my bravado was failing me. I turned back only to watch as the red tail lights began to fade away, the black car creeping further and further into the distance. It was hard to believe but almost as suddenly as they had stepped into my life, The Volturi disappeared around a sharp twist in the road. It felt almost careless of them to leave me unguarded after making sure I'd made it this far, but then I remembered Aro's words of warning and I realized he had nothing to fear, the only one in danger of losing themselves in this situation was me.

The blackness of the sky and the silent sounds of nature told me there was no large or booming metropolis nearby, and for just a moment longer I allowed myself to stand still, the prospect of running just a little too tantalizing. There was nothing physical preventing me from turning my body south and taking off into the wind. But my feet didn't even twitch and I returned to staring up at the sad little lane, knowing I don't even have the internal fortitude to turn away from the disastrous path I was already on.

Without a single scrap of luggage and only the shredded clothes hanging loosely on my skin to my name, I finally began my ascent up the winding hill. The sharp rocks were barely noticeable beneath my bare feet but I kept my steps slow and steady, fairly certain the journey was going to surpass the destination in enjoyment stakes. When the meandering narrow expanse of track opened up to a large unspoilt space I couldn't help but find myself frozen in place. Muffled voices emanated from the interior of a mansion sized white home, coupled with an indistinct shuffling of no-doubt unnecessary movements. After what felt like years in confinement it was baffling to hear the mumbled normalities of everyday life.

Aro had given me a brief summation on the life of Doctor Carlisle Cullen, a man he professed with a tight smile to be an old friend, his smile almost turning to a sneer when he declared the Doctor called those he lived with his 'family'. I hadn't thought it wrong to find them in a warehouse, or running wild in the woods, but never had I expected them to exist in such an aesthetically pristine human home.

From the different cadences and timbres coming from within I managed to pick out a number of differing voices, and with a snap of trepidation in every step, I finally forced myself right up to the front door to ring the bell.

That Aro hadn't called ahead to warn of my impending arrival became patently obvious when the house fell utterly and completely silent. Not a single breath was taken and as I stood patiently, waiting in the light rain, I knew that just for this moment, they were probably as uncertain of me as I was of them. I took that one moment to clear my mind, to remind myself why I was here and why it was imperative I didn't mislay my purpose for one single second.

They slowly gathered together and as they did, several light whispers began, spoken too softly for me to discern more than a few words here and there. I heard something about 'seeing who it was', but there was no movement behind any of the curtains or blinds. In the end it was clear their curiosity was too powerful to supress and as I knew they would, when the door opened slowly, it was to reveal them standing in the hallway as a unit, each peering at me with cautious eyes and rigid muscles.

The first thing I noticed was their involuntary gasps as their eyes met me as one, and I tried not to twitch under the assessment as I noticed they were fewer in numbers than I had expected. I looked closely at each one of them, searching for any immediate sense of familiarity, but they were as much strangers to me as Aro and his brothers had been and the thought was oddly disappointing.

The silence between us spread to something almost touchable and I was about to offer some awkward pleasantry when a short movement caught my eye at the back of the group. A tall blonde male lowered his body slightly and with words no human could hear, spoke sharply to the short dark haired girl next to him. "Call Jasper this minute. Tell them to get back here. Don't say why." I wondered at his words as the girl swept swiftly away, but before I could wonder too much my focus was drawn by another voice.

"Bella? It is you isn't it?" The elder of the three females asked, her voice coming out as nothing more than a whisper. There was something just a little awestruck and reverential in her tone and without thought I took a tiny step back.

I considered exactly what I could say but there were simply no words that would express to them that I wasn't any Bella they remembered, not without risking being turned away before I'd even made it through the door. Instead I nodded my head once and tried to keep my voice as vacant yet friendly as possible. "I thought you might have a place for me here." It wasn't a question, but as five pairs of intense eye stared at me with blatant incomprehension, I wondered at my boldness.

"Where the hell have you been?" Asked the big male with aggressive incredulity and I pushed down the fighting instincts roaring to the surface of my more primitive side.

"Around." I offered feeling defensive but trying to keep my voice even as I self-justified they were clearly struggling with whatever conclusions their minds were coming to. I didn't know how I had interacted with them before, just how familiar we had been, but each one seemed truly stunned to be seeing me once again.

"I don't mean to be rude Bella, but…" The elder of the three females began again and as she leaned slightly towards me the blonde male brushed his hand against hers. Whatever this meant clearly gave her a boost of confidence and her next words were spoken without her previous hesitation. "Did James do this to you? Did he change you? I mean, you're one of us… aren't you?"

I wasn't expecting the direct route at all and with no inclination to talk about Victoria, about James or the life which I'd been a part of, I kept it as simple as I could.

"Yes, I'm like you and it was a long time ago, but yes James was my sire." I replied, truly confirming my status for what felt like the first time. My eyes fell to their feet without much more intent than to escape their piercing looks and then suddenly they were all talking at once, far too many voices all calling out words of discontent and disbelief.

"He told us you were dead you know?" Called out a voice from amongst the melee of others and I raised my head, finding wide, wary golden eyes staring back from an almost doll like face.

"I couldn't see you…" Her pause seemed poignant somehow and the silence which only seemed to amass and grow held strong until her next words fell upon me. "I told him you were dead and he believed me." I could feel her guilt branching out and reaching for something between us, but there was no history for me and so I supressed the shrug building in my shoulders and turned my face back to the ground, knowing it was the safest place to look under their assessing eyes.

My dismissive reaction seemed to give rise to an argument of sorts, voices claiming blame and laying it on others, memories and moments from the past rearing to provide me with a brief and unfocused view of who they might have been in another time. They were all clearly shaken and unsure what to do with me and it was quite obvious that the gracious welcome Aro had anticipated wasn't coming anytime soon. If I'd had more sense, I would have readily stepped back out of their lives and disappeared back down that dirty little track.

"Enough!" The blonde man commanded sternly behind the other voices. His voice wasn't particularly loud, but it held a quiet confidence and obviously they all clearly held him in high regard as each obeyed instantly. His eyes were more friendly than cautious when they finally met mine and I waited to hear his judgement, truly believing in that moment it was the only one that counted.

"I apologise for our behaviour Bella but I'm sure you understand that you've startled us all a little. Of course you always have a place with us. I only wish you could have found your way back to us sooner." There was something a little sad and overly polite in his tone which sat a little uneasily in my mind and I momentarily wondered whether he was truly pleased by my impromptu arrival. But I didn't have long to overthink tones and adjective choices, because suddenly I was being welcomed in with arms and towels. Being ushered to comfy seats and plied with mountains of dry clothes, while hearing just how good it was to have me back. The complete attitude reversal didn't do anything to pull my nerves back from their tangled edge.

Not a single one of them really knew what to do with me and as I stood awkwardly in the middle of their benign living room, they stood uncomfortably alongside me, each of us staring a little too long at the other.

"You said you thought you might have a place with us here, but you already knew that, didn't you Bella, you've always known we would be waiting for you?" The blonde asked, breaking the impasse for us all. I couldn't help it when I looked at him for just a fraction longer than I'm sure was considered polite, wondering why they would be waiting for their supposedly dead human pet.

"I don't mean to be rude, but do you remember us Bella?" He asked plainly after a few seconds more.

I was furious with myself for allowing this man to take the lead and steal what I'd hoped would be an impressively sad story of forgotten love, when a harsh internal voice reminded me that he was the reason I was no longer standing in the pouring rain and so I hesitantly nodded.

"I'm sorry, I don't… but when I found out that such a large part of my life had been kept from me, I knew I had to find you." I told them, beginning to put the foundations of my plan in place, but stopping myself from adding bitter jabs about playing such a large part in my death too. My answer seemed to worry them all as little frown lines appeared all around the room, but the blonde, the consummate host, held his hand out to me graciously, his smile genuine for the first time. "Well then we have a lot to catch up on. I don't want to overwhelm you, so how about for now, we simply start with names. I'm Carlisle."

His hand shake was firm and his palm a little cooler than mine, and though I expected him to make a comment about the unnatural warmth of my skin, he didn't and for that I was grateful.

"This is my wife Esme." He indicated and again a hand was proffered from the more subtle looking of the three females, her features holding a soft beauty. I took hers with a little less hesitancy, pushing a smile onto my lips when she attempted what I'm sure she believed to be a warm greeting.

The 'children' were next, but the word stuck like glue in my throat as it was spoken and I wondered at the strange world I had stepped into. Both the big guy, Emmett – who kept grinning at me in an all too familiar way - and his beautiful blonde wife, Rosalie, were clearly younger than Carlisle and Esme, but neither looked like children to me and I couldn't help but wonder if it smarted just a little to be introduced that way.

The petite, doll-like brunette was left for last and it was more than obvious why. Her eyes were glazed over, focused on some indistinct spot over my shoulder. When the rest of us were done exchanging incredibly awkward pleasantries, we all turned to her and waited, staring silently until finally she regained a little focus.

Turning my way with barely concealed frustration, she finally spoke. "I still can't get anything." Her words were a sullen grumble, but then, because it seemed the thing to do, she opened up her small palm to me.

"I'm Alice." She smiled openly, her ill mood lifted as she cocked her little head to the side noting my reluctance. With a sigh she bobbed her hand just a little in the air, reminding me what was considered polite etiquette in this world full of beige and banalities.

"We were very good friends once Bella." She said in an almost chastisement and I forced myself to take her hand, not even sure why I didn't want to. But she barely pretended to shake, gripping with an unnecessary force and though I allowed the indiscretion for a moment longer than I would have in any other circumstance, I couldn't help myself when I jerked backwards, wrenching my hand free at the same time.

"Alice?" Esme asked with what I think was intended to be a gentle reprimand and I watched as Alice looked at me with her eyes opened wide. I assumed she meant it to be a friendly plea, and so I smiled, knowing at this juncture I had little other choice.

"It's fine." I said, turning to Esme with a forced smile on my lips, aware that the whole room was watching the exchange with open interest.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to be rude. I just thought maybe physical contact would help; at least this might explain why my visions have been so spotty lately. I really didn't mean to scare you Bella but I just hate not being able to see anything." Though I wanted to contradict her belief that she had scared me, her apology seemed sincere, if a little weak and I figured it had something to do with those gifts Aro had alluded to.

"Is there somewhere I can change?" I asked, taking advantage of the brief lull in proceedings while several pairs of eyes looking at Alice in disappointment. It was Rosalie who nodded, leading me off to a giant bathroom that was clinically pristine. I took as long as I could to freshen up without making it obvious that I was enjoying the sliver of reprieve from the focused attention, but all too soon I found myself opening the bathroom door, revealing five Cullens all sitting primly on various couches, evidently awaiting my return.

"Would you mind telling us a little bit about the new you Bella?" Esme asked genteelly and I wondered if the Doc always used her as his mouthpiece, only stepping in when the situation called for his command.

I tried to look pleased by the question as I stepped further into the room and when no-one offered me a seat I took one anyway, finding myself in the comfiest chair I could ever remember sitting on. "I'm not sure there's much to tell really. I was changed awhile back; I think maybe something like four years ago. We never really stayed in once place too long so it was hard to keep track of time. Then a few months ago James was killed. It was hard at first just being Victoria and I, but with no one else to talk to, I guess she started to open up. She told me that the story James had fed me about saving my life was a lie and then she told me about what she knew of my time as a human. I can't remember anything before I was this, nothing except the pain of course and waking up knowing that I was different, but not really knowing why, or how." I gestured my hands to let them know I meant my new durable body, hoping they wouldn't look too long at my eyes only to find the tall stack of lies lying within.

"So you are truly one of us then?" Esme persisted and this time I couldn't control my frown because clearly my appearance was more beguiling than any of my affirmations otherwise.

I understood that I was different, understood that I wasn't as fast or as strong, that I didn't look quite how I should. But I'd also been reminded of it nearly every day and not once had it been anything other than an insult.

"It took me a little while to grasp why James thought he'd fucked up when he bit me, after all mirrors weren't exactly a dime a dozen in the places we called home. But he did tell me often enough that my weird eyes freaked him out, so I figured they weren't the norm for the undead. He didn't seem too fazed about taking a couple repeat bites into my body just to be sure though and I guess he soon figured out that there was nothing he could do to have me undone. So yeah, I'm one of you." I replied passively and the look on her face told me she was either a little shocked by my words or the revelation, and I was fairly certain she wouldn't be bringing it up again.

"What exactly did James tell you about saving your life?" Emmett interrupted and I turned fully to face him, keeping every muscle in my face rigid as I desperately fought back a frown.

"He told me that I'd been attacked in Arizona by some thugs and left to die, that he found me and changed me." James had actually told me several different stories over the years about just how and when he'd changed me and while I knew from the transparency of his lies he'd never been my saviour, I also knew he hadn't set me on that path either.

"But you know that's not true now, right? You know that he was hunting you, that we were trying to save you?!" It was clear from his plea, from the hint of desperation in his eyes that he needed my affirmation. So I nodded and gave him the best smile I could muster finding his passion a little disconcerting. "I do." I answered, knowing if nothing else Emmett believed his words.

I didn't particularly like the way Emmett was now grinning happily from his seat, so when Carlisle spoke again suddenly, I was happy for the reprieve. "Alice, did Jasper say when they would be back?"

"He said as soon as possible." She replied, shuffling a little in her seat as she spoke. "Jasper is pretty pissed about it though." She added, her disapproval aimed at no one in particular, though her fingers were playing restlessly with the mobile phone grasped between her fingers.

"Jasper?... and Edward?" I finally asked, feigning a little reticence when it seemed no one was simply going to offer the information for free.

Silence reigned and as I looked around I finally realised they were waiting for Carlisle to do his boss man thing again and take charge. Walking steadily across the room to take the seat directly next to mine, the expression on his face did not change from friendly stoicism.

"Yes Bella. Jasper and Edward have been away working on something in Seattle. I think it would only be kind to warn you that it might be a little difficult for Edward to see you again."

I knew they were all staring at me, waiting for my reaction, but I just felt numb inside. In some part of my mind I knew that he was talking about the man Aro had essential told me to make my toy. But I didn't feel anything other than an awkward detachment to the reality of the words and I didn't know how to translate that into something that didn't feel callous. I searched for what to say, but in the end I stuck with the things I thought they would want to hear.

"And they will be here soon?" I didn't tell them that I didn't exactly know were here was, mainly because it would open up the minefield of the Volturi bringing me to this place, something I was sure they didn't need to know.

No-one would meet my eye as I looked around the room and as I thought back over what had been said I realised my task was going to be infinitely harder than it already was. "What you said before, you meant Edward didn't you? Edward believes I'm dead." I stared at Alice until she raised her head to mine, guilt blazing in her eyes.

"I couldn't see you." She whispered to me and I closed my eyes, wondering just how to respond to something like this, knowing they were all watching me with fierce intensity.

"Maybe I should just go?" I was already on my feet before I even knew what I was doing, my actions suddenly catching up to me as I sensed a way out of this tension filled mess, but Carlisle's voice stopped me before I could even pretend to make it halfway across the room.

"Isabella, in truth we left Forks not long after what happened. For a long time Edward believed you would come back to us and we each spent a certain amount of time going back there, a rota if you will. We didn't move far but it has been years since we went back to the old house, so to have you turn up here, out of the blue..."

My feet stopped and in the silence I forced Aro's voice into my mind, a sharp reminder that no matter how much I longed to, I couldn't leave. Whether any of us liked it not, we were stuck with each other until Aro got whatever he wanted, only the people in front of me with sympathetic smiles on their faces has no idea that was the case. I could feel the room closing in as I finally came to terms with just how trapped I was and I knew that I need to get out quickly.

"I think I need to hunt." I said, turning towards the windows which were floor to ceiling and presenting very alluring views of the woods and the freedom beyond.

"Do you remember that we only believe in taking the blood of animals?" A small voice asked hesitantly and I turned to find Alice looking at me in something which I could only liken to remorse.

The colour of their eyes hadn't passed my notice and now that I knew the source I tried to keep my face impassive. It wasn't that I necessarily enjoyed taking the lives of others to keep the longing in my throat at bay. It was simply what I knew and the thought of burying my teeth into something furry was just a little more than repulsive. But for some reason I didn't want Alice to know that and so I smiled, just for her. "I didn't, but I guess it's something I can work with."

It didn't take too long to figure out that the whole animal diet thing was appalling and not only did I have to contend with picking bits of fur out of my teeth, but the small quantities of blood I managed to consume were horrendously musty and weak. In short it was nothing like the glorious thick rush of human blood and I tried to stop thinking about the differences as I lounged just at the edge of the woods in a gloriously tall tree, feeling more repulsed with myself than satiated.

From my perch I could hear the Cullens whispering sadly about what Edward would do when he saw me, what he would say when he found out my memory of him was gone, but I tried to block out their emotional analysis. I felt comfortable with the conversations I'd endured so far, but I felt drained by the pretence, by the intensity of the weird family and their human ways.

I was still trying to push my circular thoughts away while trying to forget the foul taste lingering in my mouth when I heard the back door open. Watching Emmett and Rosalie emerge, I knew they were looking for me. They made it all the way to the treeline when they stopped and turned around in unison, both clearly confused by the way my scent seemed to sweep back the way they'd just come.

"Bella?" Emmett called, looking all around him and as he swept his eyes over each piece of grass he could see, I slipped down from the tree, landing gracefully barely ten feet from where they stood, looking perplexed. I could tell he was about to say something but I stopped him with my own eager request. "Say that again?!"

He looked blankly over at Rosalie for half a second and then turned back to me, his dark eyebrows all furrowed together on his handsomely boyish face. "What? Bella?"

Something in the way he said my name nestled gently within me and I smiled at him openly.

"So you want him to keep saying it or are you gonna let us in on why your smiling like that?" Rosalie asked, standing just a touch behind Emmett but not so much that I would have noticed if I wasn't on such high alert.

"It just sounded nice." I replied, the pleasant feeling slipping away as I overanalysed my reaction to it. "You were looking for me?" I asked when I realised we're all just standing around looking at one another again once again.

"Yeah, we wanted to show you something, something we think you might appreciate." Rosalie gave no more before sprinting back out into the woods, leaving me alone with Emmett who threw over a big easy grin in my direction. "C'mon Bella, let's see how fast you are!" His challenge placed a big smile on my face and I watched his back disappear into the darkness before I had a chance to respond.

Emmett easily outpaced me and I laughed as I came to a clearing in the trees, a look of pure gleeful triumph on his face as he lifted Rosalie up like a trophy. But when Rosalie cleared her throat and wriggled free of his arms I quickly threw on a serious expression as she moved to stand impatiently in front of a little brick building, hidden in the middle of the woods.

"What is this place?" I asked, trying to get a look into one of the windows, only to find dim shadows in the darkness beyond.

"Sometimes it gets a little claustrophobic living with everyone, so everywhere we go Em and I like to build a little getaway. It's not much but we figured you would probably rather this to staying in the main house, for a little while at least."

They weren't kidding when they said it wasn't much, just two small rooms with a bathroom in the middle, but it was clean and pretty and I could picture myself sitting on the little sofa, or laying sleeplessly on the bed.

Rosalie was nearly done with the tour when she turned to me, the friendly host façade dropped to reveal a harsher look in her amber eyes. "Look, I can't say I care too much about you not being able to remember us from when you were human, mainly because the decisions you were making back then were pretty stupid. I don't know how you found us though, or what you actually want considering it's pretty clear you aren't here for Edward. But I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, mainly because for some stupid reason my husband here thinks you deserve it. But if you fuck it up, if I find out you aren't as innocent as you're playing it, then I'll rip you apart myself and personally burn the pieces." She ended her little speech with a smile and all I could do in return was nod my head, because I appreciated the honesty, even if it turned my stomach when I realized that instinctually she was more right than she knew. I really shouldn't be trusted at all.


	4. The Reunion

**a/n: Just to let you know updates are probably going to be once a week right now. Hopefully they will become more frequent in a few weeks time (rl dependent). Thank you to all those of you reading along. xxx**

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Time passed slowly as I lay back on the couch in Rosalie and Emmett's little forest hideaway. I knew that I couldn't stay away forever, but I'd been allowing myself just a few more minutes for over an hour now and I still couldn't quite find the motivation to move.

In some ways it was both a blessing and curse to have been gifted with this coveted space of my own. To live side by side with the Cullens in their expansive home would have been far more stressful, though it was hard not to wonder how much my isolation was truly for my own benefit and not more so they could discuss me at will.

Tired of my own repetitive thoughts, I finally forced myself on to my feet, winding my way through the woods and back to the main house with slow reluctance. The place felt quieter in the daylight and as I strolled up to the back patio doors, I stopped hesitantly, unsure whether I should knock or just walk in.

"You could knock, but no-one's inside to let you in." A booming voice startled me from behind and I whirled around to see Emmett stepping out of the treeline, his clothes mussed and bloody from what appeared to be a very messy hunt.

"Ali went to school to tell them she's leaving, Carlisle's doing the same with work and Rose and Esme are in town planning the move." He strolled past me as he spoke with such effortless ease, leaving the door open behind him; an invitation for me to follow.

"Umm, did you say school?" I asked a little incredulously, almost certain I must have been wrong.

"Yeah, unfortunately I did. When we move we try to stay in one place as long as we can. Carlisle and Edward think it's a good idea to 'establish ourselves in the community' and with that comes school and sometimes college too." Throwing himself down on an oversized sofa, he flicked on the largest flat screen television I'd ever seen and began to scroll maniacally through the hundreds of channels, stopping only to mime his parenthesise for me.

"Wow, that really sucks. And Carlisle is at work?" I asked, trying to just get past the weirdness of their chosen existence.

"Yeah, he works as a Doc at the local hospital here in Roseburg. Normally when we move it's further away than the next state but…" He turned away from the big screen for a second, giving me what I took to be a pensive look and I realised he was trying to tell me that they'd done all this for me. "…I guess this is all kind of weird for you. I mean, I know the set up we've got here isn't exactly normal. Were you doing the nomad thing before?"

I thought hard about his question and how much I really wanted to tell him, after all it seemed like I might be stuck here for a while and from their vanilla existence I didn't doubt they would find my previous world fairly repulsive.

"For a couple of years yeah, just recently we were camped out with some others in an abandoned warehouse. It wasn't anything like this, but it was something." I didn't tell him how there was an ever increasing number of bodies piled up in one corner, or that when it rained the floor was tinged pink with blood. Those things felt wrong to say aloud in a room filled with trinkets and a pretty, perfected decor.

Silence filled the space between us and as Emmett once again took to scrolling through the endless channels, I considered the things he could tell me.

"What's up with Alice not seeing things?" I finally asked, wondering just how open he would be and this time I was entirely unsurprised when Emmett flipped the remote to one side and turned to face me straight on.

"Alice can see the future, but it's kind of dependent on a lot of things, like people making decisions, or at least that what she says when things don't turn out like she says they should. Anyway, for a couple of days she's been firing blanks and now that you're here, she's pretty damn certain it has something to do with you." His eyes furrowed slightly as he looked me over before turning back to face the tv, clearly undecided whether I should really bear the burden of the blame.

"And Edward?" I pressed on, not missing Emmett's eyes flicker in my direction. "Where is he?"

I watched for several moments as he continued to scroll through the endless channels, clearly taking his time to formulate what exactly he wanted me to know.

"He and Jasper went up north." He said firmly and I felt my interest pique from what had previously only been mild curiosity.

It was clear Emmett wasn't going to say anymore on the subject and not wanting to push him in a direction he might consider intrusive, I sat back, letting my body sink into the couch as I wondered what information he was protecting.

"Hey, do you want to do something?" I asked several minutes later when I grew bored of the exhaustive channel hopping, the four beige walls surrounding us filling me with an ever increasing feeling of claustrophobia.

"What do you have in mind?" He replied, his eyes lighting up with interest.

"I don't know. I don't think there's anything I can really touch in here without worrying I'll break it or smudge it, but we could go outside, maybe fight if you're up for it?" I'd spent many a restless hour being forced to battle with various new arrivals that Victoria had thrown unceremoniously into the warehouse and at one point had sworn if I'd ever found myself free I would never do so again. But the Cullen house was so stifling in its normalcy and fighting was the only thing I could think of to take my mind from clock watching.

Emmett jumped from the sofa apparently more than enthused at my suggestion and before I could even suggest moving outside he was yelling for me to follow him.

We were crouched down to begin when the sound of a distant engine distracted Emmett. His body rose up to his gargantuan height and as the drone grew louder I felt myself physically retract at the thought of who exactly was about to arrive.

"It's probably just Rose and Esme." Emmett offered and I realised he was watching me, his eyes full of something soft and sympathetic as he clearly caught my apprehension. We waited in silence and when a few minutes later Rosalie and Esme stepped out onto the back patio, I internally sighed in relief while Emmett called for them to join us enthusiastically.

"Me and Bells are gonna fight!" He yelled, his voice unnecessarily loud as he smiled exuberantly at his audience, earning him a gentle trill of laughter from Rosalie.

"Better you than me Bella, just remember he sulks when he loses." Rosalie offered with a conspiratorial smile. When Emmett had everyone positioned to his exact specifications in the middle of the large back lawn, he began to explain the rules to us all.

"No biting, no tearing off any bits. Winner is declared only when the other person gives. Oh and no girly shit like hair pulling." He grinned, looking over at Rosalie in what I assumed to be a silent reprimand regarding a tactic she'd employed in the past.

I nodded, following Emmett's lead when he pulled himself down into a crouch and began to circle. Emmett struck first, knocking me down onto the ground, and while I didn't have the strength that Emmett possessed in bucket loads, I was experienced, and I knew all too well that I could give strong a good fight if I was patient enough. A couple of good shots later, Emmett was down on the ground, but I simply didn't have the brute strength to hold him. We battled on until I finally called defeat, Emmett pinning my legs down, with my arms pulled painfully up behind me, his whole weight pressing down on my back.

When Emmett finally let me go, I was surprised to find Rosalie stepping forward, clearly far more willing to get her hands dirty than I'd imagined she would be.

"What?" Rosalie asked, pressing her hands down onto her hips when I still hadn't moved to accept her challenge.

"Nothing." I responded defensively as I moved into place, knowing my thoughts would only irritate her further.

As I lowered my body I noticed Alice making her way quietly out onto the decking, a little scowl etched on her face.

It didn't take long to recognise I had a ruthlessness Rosalie lacked, but as we tumbled around the grass, the upper hand slipping back and forth, I could feel myself becoming more and more frustrated. Emmett cheered noisily from the side-lines, shouting words of encouragement, but he finally became silent when I threw Rosalie to the ground, her legs twisting with mine. With one arm pinned awkwardly beneath her, the other held in my resolute grip, Rosalie grimaced in defeat. As I playfully mocked, making snapping sounds with my teeth, I smiled down at her in victory, amused by the way she still struggled on in hope; unwilling to admit the inevitable.

She was still struggling when from nowhere someone landed on my back, strong hands pulling me backwards as sharp teeth bit down swiftly, fiercely pulling back the flesh where my shoulder and my neck met with a screeching violence. I screamed out in agony and tried to claw the hands away from my body, but suddenly and without warning, my attacker was gone just as quickly as they'd arrived.

I scrabbled back as fast as I could to the edge of the grass, shock and pain marring my senses as I fought against my instinct to run. I looked around to find expressions of shock, anger and confusion staring back at me. I was caught between two instincts but when I saw two strangers both take a step closer to me, I did what I should have done as soon as my attacker had released me; I ran.

I heard the calls of the Cullen's shouting for me to come back, but I didn't, I couldn't. I ran for miles through the deep forestry until I came to a wide lake, hidden from life and so eerily peaceful in its silence. Feeling defeated and afraid, I sat down at the edge, pulling my knees to my body. My instincts were at war with my mind, telling me to keep running, to protect myself, but internally I wanted to do nothing more than wallow in confused misery. Had Alice seen this, was she really as blind as Emmett proposed?

I heard him approach the lake cautiously; his steps forcefully heavy as he snapped twigs underfoot. I told myself to get up off the ground, to fight, to do something, anything other than sit silently watching him.

I was strangely fascinated as he drew nearer, his body broad and menacing, a coiled strength buried in each step he took. I didn't understand myself, didn't understand why I didn't feel a primal urge to stand and defend myself, to hide my weaknesses as I'd always done before. Instead I simply watched as he positioned himself close enough that I could see his face, his hands opened wide in peace as he lowered himself to the ground, erasing a basic threat.

He sat, mirroring my pose across the water and when he opened his mouth to speak, I found myself wanting to listen to his words.

"I'm sorry I hurt you." He said softly.

I didn't reply, I just waited, wanting to hear more of his words. I wasn't used to people apologizing for inflicting pain and more importantly not finishing what they'd started.

"I would do anything to protect my family." His words were a succinct disclaimer and I respected that he wasn't apologizing for his actions, simply the consequences.

Nodding, I hoped now that he'd explained himself he would stand and walk away, but the action made me wince. The pain in my shoulder was searing and as I put my head down on my knees, I tried to fight for some rational thought

"Can I come closer? I promise I won't hurt you." His voice was gentle in its persuasion and I couldn't understand why I felt no instinctual fear for the man that had caused me this pain. I didn't have the functioning thought processes to work through my emotions properly, so I simply gritted out a yes from between my teeth.

Close was a lot closer than I had expected, and though I watched his feet close the space between us, I was still shocked when his body first touched mine. I moved my head slowly to the side so that I could see him up close, the man who had done this to me.

The shocked look on his face didn't surprise me, I expected it now. What surprised me though was how handsome he was. His honey blonde hair fell tousled beyond his ears, his eyes a deep penetrating topaz, cheek bones high and firm, and while his lips looked soft and alluring, his jaw was firm and strong. He was the most handsome man or vampire I had ever seen in my existence.

"I don't think I can fix it by myself." I said, speaking to him as though he had come across me bruised and broken, not as the one who bore the taste of my flesh on his tongue.

Not understanding, he asked what I meant and when my eyes flitted down to my torn flesh, he grimaced in response.

"I can help you if you like, if not, I can help you back to the house, Carlisle is a Doctor after all?"

I considered his offer and couldn't imagine feeling any more comfortable about this back at the house; I just hoped he hadn't offered because he felt that he had to. I didn't know why I trusted him more than any Cullen I had met thus far but I did, I felt safe in his presence, warm somehow.

"Would you help me please?" I asked and it seemed to be unexpected as it took him a moment to collect his thoughts before nodding, moving me gently until I was positioned between his legs, almost flush up again his body.

"This is going to hurt, but I will try to be as gentle as I can be." He whispered against my neck and for what felt like the thousandth time that day, I nodded. Closing my eyes I moved my head slightly to the side to give him more room to do whatever it was he needed to do.

As his hand gently positioned the flesh back into what felt like a more natural position, I was astonished by how soft his ministrations were and how little pain I felt. That all changed though with an intake of breath, as he began to lick the edges of the wound, sealing it closed with his venom. As I jerked slightly with the pain, he instinctively wound his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. Distracted by the new closeness and the feel of his body around mine, I pushed the remainder of the pain aside to feel only that safety and warmth flow around me. Relishing in the moment, I didn't even notice that he had stopped.

Dragging my mind from my blissful state I realized I was still pressed up against his body. Opening my eyes I looked to my left, no longer feeling the searing pain and I could only see the edges of the wound that would forever tell a story of my first encounter with this vampire. Feeling my movements, he pulled back, taking his strange warmth with him. I was glad of the clear headedness that the slight distance between us offered and chanced a look at him again, suddenly aware that I didn't even know his name

"I'm Bella." I offered, feeling unsettled to be back to pleasantries after sharing something so wild and then strangely so intimate with him.

"I know who you are, but clearly you have no idea who I am." He replied and I couldn't help but wonder if this was the man I'd been so ready and willing to hunt down and kill.

He looked at me firmly, my hand still outstretched in the air and then a slow understanding seemed to take root as he took my hand, his eyes solemn as he spoke his name; "Jasper Whitlock."

While my face remained composed, I couldn't help but feel the heavy fog of discomfort settle in the air. I realised just how much I'd been hoping he would tell me he was Edward, that it would resolve any and all dilemmas I was sure to encounter because I clearly felt an attraction to this man. I sat looking at our entwined hands for just a moment too long before shuffling back away from him, my actions clearly confusing as he frowned openly at me.

"Umm, we need to… well I need to, we should… I should… we should get back." I spluttered out and Jasper nodded, turning to face back towards the house. He allowed me to silently lead to way, the previous intimacy we had shared replaced with a nervous confusion and finally relief when we emerged back from the darkness. Jasper seemed surprised when he noticed it was Rose out of all of the Cullen's who was waiting for us to return, and even more so when she quickly pulled me to her side in a comforting and protective gesture.

"I'm really sorry that happened to you Bella, sometimes Jasper thinks we're all incapable of defending ourselves around here." Her words were spoken as a clear cut-down which Jasper acknowledged with a simple salute of his hand before walking on towards the house. I watched him go, watched as he strode up to Alice, where she greeted him by wrapping her arms around his body and pulling herself flush against him.

"Alice and Jasper?" I asked, making sure to keep my voice as light as possible, knowing I had no interest for Rosalie to have any inclination as to where my swirling emotions were at right now.

"It's too easy to forget that you don't really know anything about us. Yeah, Alice and Jasper. They joined us sometime in the fifties, apparently Alice had one of her visions and saw that they were meant to be and so she went off to find him and then one day they just showed up, not unlike you actually. Don't be offended if you don't see Jasper much, he mainly sort of keeps to himself, and Alice."

I kept my head down as we began to walk back to the house, ignoring my desire to see if Alice and Jasper were still pressed together. I had been wrong about who he was and unknowingly allowed myself to feel a hint of attraction towards him, but now that I knew he and Alice were together I felt uncomfortable with the moment we'd shared, the close intimacy of it, it was so close to a betrayal and I barely had one foot in the door.

"Are you okay? I mean, I seriously thought we'd never see you again." I couldn't help but notice the sincerity in Rosalie's voice, the concern she was showing me and so for her sake I smiled. "It's not the first time someone's taken a chunk out of me; it is however, the first time someone's apologised for it." I replied wryly, not noticing that Rosalie had stopped walking beside me.

When I did catch up to her actions it was already too late, he was standing on a few feet from my body and when my eyes met his I knew instantly how wrong I'd been before.

Edward's who demeanour was filled with a deep anguish, his hands curled up into tight fists by his sides. His eyes searched mine and as we stood awkwardly watching one another he appeared to frown in concentration. He bore an obvious sort of elegant vampiric beauty and though his eyes sang with maturity, his face had an undoubtedly youthful grace about it. I tried not to stare, knowing what I did about our lives, but it didn't really matter too much as what had initially looked like pain in his expression turned into something darker.

"You've been alive all this time." He stated, the innate melody of his voice marred by what I could only believe to be supressed anger.

I didn't know what to say, how to begin to appease a man I had been contracted to manipulate. I felt no intimation of familiarity, no warmth. Thinking of how instinctually I'd responded to Jasper, I unconsciously moved my eyes back in his direction. Both he and Alice were looking on with interest and I forced my eyes away, not wanting to give myself away so easily.

I took a deep breath and forcing myself to step forward, my hand outstretched to reach up. Lightly I brushed my fingers over the hard contours of his cheek and I smiled as gently as I could.

"It's you." I said and his eyes widened, the anger falling aside as something else fell into place, something I couldn't recognise.

"You remember me?" He asked and I could hear the hint of desperation in his voice, his body completely still as I continued to map the contours of his face.

"I think I do." I replied, the lie forming so easily that I felt nothing more than relief when he stepped towards me suddenly, his hard lips finding mine. I forced my hands to wrap around his body and though I moved my lips, reciprocating his desperate kiss, I wondered when he would feel the lie in my body, when he would realise that the girl he once believed he loved, was truly feeling nothing at all.


	5. The Video

"I can't hear her Carlisle." Edward said once we'd found our way back into the living room, several pairs of eyes all attempting not to look too intently at our intertwined palms.

"Yes, it seems Alice can't see anything either." Carlisle replied, his face morphing into what I would come to know as his 'puzzle solving' expression.

"So that's why I never could, because she's a shield… I mean she is, isn't she?" Edward's frustration was obvious as he shifted his hand out of mine and began to pace a little unnecessarily.

Selfishly I liked the reprieve from his touch and though all I wanted to do was pull myself back into the darkest corner I could find, I stood tall in the middle of the room. I noticed then that in some way or another, all of the Cullens were making the smallest of movements. It was clearly a well-practised exercise for them all, so subtle that I hadn't even caught my attention until now; they were mimicking humans. I wondered if it was an affectation they would wish me to learn, that and an acceptance to feed merrily from animals.

"I believe so, however I don't think it would remiss of us to have Eleazar to confirm whatever gift or gifts she may possess." Carlisle responded and all the heads in the room nodded, approving of the idea. I remained silent until I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Who's Eleazar?"

"Oh Bella, I'm sorry, I do keep forgetting… Eleazar is an old friend of mine; we met when I spent some years living with the Volturi in Italy. He can sense special abilities in others, something which might prove to be useful in your case." Carlisle replied.

"You mean the whole not looking quite right thing?" I offered dryly, trying not to react at the mention of Aro and his incredibly persuasive friends.

"What about you Jasper, can you sense her emotions?" Carlisle asked, his question though clinically put stirring a memory of intimacy in the woods that I was desperately trying to forget.

"No I can't, touch doesn't help either." Jasper spoke with quiet authority but I was shocked by his seemingly impromptu declaration; apparently not so much as Alice.

"How do you know that Jasper?" She asked, her light voice straining against whatever true emotion she was attempting to mask. I knew that Alice was unsure of me due to the effect I had on her abilities, but it was clear the idea of her mate touching me unnerved her, as her gaze flittered back and forth with uncertainty between us.

"I bit her." Jasper concluded succinctly, his eyes turning to mine as if I might challenge his analysis.

I was still eyeing Jasper speculatively when Edward strode purposefully across the room, stopping directing in front of me before holding out his hand.

"Give me your hand." He demanded quietly.

I couldn't help myself, instinctively I tucked my hands away into the long sleeves of the sweater Rosalie had loaned me, looking up at him warily as I mentally berated myself for not being more open with the man I was meant to be enticing.

"Edward, perhaps you could sit down for a moment and discuss this maturely instead of going around barking out orders to people." Rosalie chipped in, one eyebrow raised as she, and everyone else waited for Edward to step away.

He didn't relent though and as I looked around the room, I could see the curiosity and caution forming in their eyes.

I immediately knew that my actions must be raising a red flag and slowly I pulled my hands free and placed them in Edwards, focusing on an eerie song about 'little soldier boys' that Victoria had sung over and over with glee. It wasn't hard to figure out that Edward had some sort of telepathic ability and there was simply no-way I could explain why I didn't want him to read my mind, especially not in a coven that clearly depended so heavily on their gifted Vampires. But as I was also trying to convince him that whatever we had hadn't decayed with my change, so I smiled, trying to erase the little crinkles of tension that had appeared around his eyes.

"Nothing!" Edward suddenly shouted and before I could grasp exactly what I had done to cause such an intense reaction, I was hauled across the room and pinned against the wall, a very irate Edward standing only inches in front of me.

Commotion broke out all around as every one of the Cullens moved to stand around us but no-one made a move to stop him. He had my hands trapped against the wall by my wrists and with an angry snarl he began to ask me question after question.

"Who are you? You aren't Bella, you don't even smell like her. Why are you here? Why now?" He didn't wait for my response, but simply flung his hands back away from me, his body tearing across the room before he seemed to find himself caught in some indecision. He whirled back around again and this time when he came for me, I pressed myself back against the wall, aware that the whole room was waiting for him to erupt again.

His was barely feet from me when a strong arm whipped forward, blocking his path. Edward snarled menacingly at Jasper, but when the blonde vampire refused to back down I watched as Edward's anger slowly melted into something desperate and decidedly weak.

"Why didn't you come back to me?" He begged, his eyes pained as I felt him trying to push his way into my soul, looking for an answer I knew he wouldn't find. My instincts reared against him and though every atom of my being shrieked at me to stay away, I stepped forward.

Jasper seemed uncertain about my choice, but as I approached he slowly moved back, remaining close enough that I could still feel some of that strange serenity I'd found in the woods.

I pressed my palm gently to Edward's chest and forced my voice into a soft sincerity. "I couldn't remember you Edward. I didn't know you were waiting for me. I didn't know that there was anything for me to come back to."

I watch as emotions surfaced only to be pushed aside by something more harrowing; acceptance turned to sadness, sadness turned to grief.

"Edward, I believe there are a few more things we need to discuss here." Carlisle said, placing his broad palm on Edward's shoulder and leading him back towards the sofa where he sat with his head in his hands. I didn't know what to do with myself, so when Rosalie sat down and patted the cushion next to her, I moved to her side silently, knowing my every move was being tracked.

"Edward, Bella has been living with James and Victoria and only recently, after James was killed, did she learn about her life with us. I think perhaps there are things we need to discuss now that might end up hurting us all later on if they're not out in the open." Though Carlisle had seemed to be in control, I was surprised to see him relinquishing his power over to Edward. I had an idea what they were talking about, namely who had killed James, but I was shocked to see Edward shaking his head, looking only mildly remorseful when he began to justify his choice.

"I don't think that's something which Bella needs to know Carlisle, especially not right now." His words were final and as I looked around I noticed several varying degrees of exasperation on the faces of his family.

"Bullshit Edward! We're not playing this game again." Rosalie voiced angrily as she glared Edward down.

"You coddled her when she was human and it was annoying as all hell then, but you don't have the same excuses anymore. If you won't tell her, then I will." Rosalie's arms crossed over her chest in finality and I watched as he sighed aloud, his eyes firmly focused on the carpet.

"Then go ahead and tell her." His voice was almost so quiet that I didn't hear it, but as he rose with the weight of the world on his shoulders, I almost felt sorry for Edward.

"Edward and I had been tracking James on and off for years, but we were always just a few too many steps behind." A voice began and I noticed Edward hesitate in the doorway before finally walking out of sight. I turned to Jasper who was obviously waiting for my attention and when our eyes met, he continued with a story that was already carved indelibly in my mind.

"We thought you were dead, so we didn't even think…" He paused, remorse in his eyes. "A few months back we got a lead on where we could find James. We didn't hesitate, we found him alone in a northern stretch of forestry in Montana…"

His words continued on, telling me how they'd hunted him down, two on one. How they'd ripped him apart. Underneath his words I understood that neither of them had found the task a hardship; they had relished in the death of the man who'd both saved me and destroyed me in one fell swoop.

I pulled myself back from my thoughts to find the room silent, waiting for my reaction. I didn't know how to tell them that the man they'd killed had been a part of my family, but that he was also a man I'd never truly liked.

I couldn't bring myself to sit under their assessment any longer and so I took to my feet, pacing the length of the room, when all I really wanted to do was run free with no walls to confine me.

It wasn't hard to remember the day when Victoria and I had found the stench of death in the forest. She had immediately recognised Edward's scent in the area and our path had been set from that very moment, leading me here.

I wasn't sure whether it would be foolish of me to tell them that I knew, but the lies I'd told were already filling up my mind and with so many expectant eyes watching me, I couldn't think clearly.

"I know all that, or at least I knew that Edward was there that day." I replied and a little intake of breath from Esme made my confession take on far more significance than I'd anticipated.

"And you came to us anyway?" She asked, her eyes open and loving as I took in what she saw as forgiveness on my part.

"James was a hard man to love." I replied, forcing myself to stop before confessing that even though our relationship was masochistic at best, I had been ready and willing to avenge his death, something I knew now was going to be impossible.

I could feel the questions bubbling around the room, but just at that moment a noise stole my attention.

It was a faint sound at first, something only barely on my periphery, but as I focused in I began to hear more layers beyond the superficial.

The voice was coming directly from the grave, as inopportunely timed as anything could be. I found my feet pulling me to the doorway, following the tones I'd recognise even in the depths of hell.

"…like to say to your darling Edward before I destroy you?"

My feet began to move more quickly and before I could even contemplate my next step, I was standing at the threshold of a room I'd never entered before. My hand was outstretched, ready to turn the handle, when I felt strong hands wrap around my shoulders.

"You don't want to see that." He said firmly in my ear, but he was wrong; I did.

"That's me." I said incredulously, moving my shoulders in an attempt to dislodge his grip. But nothing would pull him away and as I turned to face Jasper, I found his face solemn in its certainty.

"I don't care who it is. You aren't seeing it and he shouldn't be playing it." He replied forcefully and though I wanted to push him away and barge right into the room behind me, the magnitude of what I was hearing began to sink in.

"That's me and James." I said, my voice coming out no louder than a whisper.

"Let's get you out of here." Jasper declared and I was moving back down through the house before I could even process that I was allowing him to lead me.

"Rose, take Bella somewhere please, anywhere far enough away that she doesn't have to listen to this." He commanded handing me off like the stunned person I was. I didn't want to go with Rose though, because now the soft pleading had turned to pained screams and I couldn't bring myself to move.

"C'mon." Rosalie said and when I didn't respond I felt cold, unfamiliar arms wrap around me. I struggled heartily as I was thrown over Emmett's shoulder and only when we were miles from the house, the screams lost in the distance we'd travelled, did he release me.

"What the hell was that?" I shouted, my shock turning to anger as I realised Edward had been watching some macabre recording of my death.

"Why does he have it?" I pressed, waiting for the answers to questions I already knew.

"Five years ago we were all out during a thunderstorm playing baseball; three nomads who were passing through town heard us and asked if they could join in. You were with us too, so Eddie freaked out, knowing it wouldn't take long before they figured we'd brought a snack. I guess Carlisle thought it'd work out better if we just agreed, but a few minutes after they joined us James caught onto your scent." Emmett paused and I wondered why he was telling me all this, why he couldn't just get to the point.

"Alice had some vision about him hunting you down and that's when everyone started to really freak out. A plan got figured out where you would go down to Phoenix with Alice and Jasper, but while you were there you snuck away, damn crafty too if I say so myself. James lured you to a ballet studio and filmed the whole thing, left the tape for Eddie to find." His words were softly spoken, but I could hear the disgust buried within.

"He played it non-stop for months, over and over again like some fucking martyr. It got to the point where Carlisle had to make him stop. He hasn't played it in a while though, so you coming back must have fucked him over more than we figured it would."

I couldn't tear the memory of my voice from my head, my declaration of love leaving me feeling a strange sense of nausea.

"He really did love you, you know." He offered from nowhere and I turned to him, wondering why he believed I needed the affirmation, but not missing how he'd used the past tense.

"And now?" I asked, not willing to let it go.

"And now I don't know." He replied honestly, the burden heavy in his eyes as he watched me, oozing sympathy he really didn't need to feel.

I was watching him struggle with his emotions when I heard someone approach through the trees. I turned to see Alice slow her run to a steady walk, her face unreadable as she spoke to Emmett.

"I need a word with Bella."

He threw me a half-hearted grin before taking off, leaving me alone with Alice who was watching me intently.

"I don't want you to be upset Bella, but you have to understand how difficult this is for him. Edward really did believe you were dead, we all did." Alice began, justify actions that I truly felt were reprehensible.

But I couldn't tell her I thought it was fucking sick that he'd kept a video of my death and worse still that he'd played it in my presence.

"I get it Alice, I really do." I sighed, sitting down and leaning back against the scratchy bark of a thick tree.

"Well then I hope you can understand that he needs a little time right now to process this." She said, joining me on the forest floor.

"He's left hasn't he?" I asked, already knowing this was what she'd come here to tell me.

"Yeah. Jasper read him the riot act for playing that tape with you in the house and they kind of got into it a little." Alice replied and I could feel that there was something more she wanted to say, something she was holding back.

"Just say it." I said, wondering just what else there could be.

"Edward said something about you and Jasper…" She began and as she trailed off, I felt a blanket of unease spread over me.

"Go on." I pressed, doubting any good could ever come of this conversation.

"He told Jasper he'd seen how you both behaved after he bit you." Alice threw out, her words all rushing together as she forced them out and into the air between us.

"Is that it?" I asked, feigning triviality as she looked on with worried eyes.

"Yeah, he seemed angry about it though." She replied and just as I was about to answer with some offhand remark, she opened her mouth to speak again. "And now Jasper is insisting that we need to leave even though we're not ready yet, but he won't listen. He says you and him will get a head start tomorrow and the rest of us can follow later. I know you probably don't remember him, but he's acting funny Bella and I can't help but worry it's got something to do with you."

I struggled to hear anything beyond Jasper insisting he and I leave together, but the troubled strain to Alice's voice told me this wasn't what she wanted me to linger on. I could tell from her confession, from her honesty, that she truly trusted me, that she believed whatever was wrong was clearly no fault of mine. Something dark inside me wanted to tell her how foolishly placed her trust was, but instead I placed my hand on hers, remembering how eagerly she'd sought my touch to fix her problems.

"Edward probably didn't understand why I didn't run away from Jasper after he'd bit me. It's nothing to worry about Alice, I promise you. But what about Edward? Will he come find us when we move?" I asked, trying to divert her from the truth of the matter. That I really didn't care what Edward did, beyond what I was being forced to do. That secretly, somewhere in the back of my mind, the idea of spending time with Jasper alone, excited me.

"He's just needs some time and then he'll come back to you, I know he will." She replied, turning her concern to comfort as she followed my misdirection to land exactly where I wanted her. Not knowing that her dear old friend Bella, definitely shouldn't be trusted at all.

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**a/n: Thank you to everyone reading along...hope you're enjoying it...next up Jasper and B take a little roadtrip to bloodsville. x**


	6. The Predator

**a/n: I'm so sorry I missed last weeks update...I'll really really try to not let that happen again as I know how slow I'm working on this anyway, which must be such a pain. Anyway, I hope you enjoy...xxx**

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It was a tough twelve hours to bear, knowing Edward was gone, knowing there was nothing I could do until he came back to make him fall in line with Aro's manipulation. But it was a welcome reprieve and even though I'd spent less than an hour in his presence, I definitely wasn't missing him, or the outright lies I'd been forced to tell.

"Are you all packed up?" Emmett asked the minute I walked through the door, the small smile on his lips not reaching anywhere near his eyes. He was incorrigibly open and I hated him for it, hated the way I could feel myself warming to him.

"Yeah, it took all of thirty seconds." I replied, slumping down on the nearest couch I could find while pretending I wasn't listening to Alice's pleading voice somewhere above me, desperately begging Jasper not to go.

"You bummed about yesterday still?" Emmett asked, I assumed as a result of my lazy attempt to look pitiful and morose. I tried to focus on not being mentally somewhere else, but it was difficult as Jasper began to placate Alice. Telling her she was the only one Edward would confess his inner demons to and should he return, now that I was being whisked away; he would need her. His motives for our impromptu departure sounded bizarre at best to me, but from her diminished protests Alice seemed to be on the same strange wavelength.

I realised from the way Emmett was looking at me that I wasn't being particularly discrete and so frantically I searched back through the past few minutes, struggling to remember what exactly he'd asked.

"A little…I just wish he hadn't run away, then at least we could have spoken about everything… you know?" I sighed poignantly and brushed aside what I refused to believe was guilt when he answered all too emphatically.

"It's a damn shame he didn't stick around. I was hoping to rip into when Jasper was done throwing him around. He pulled a prick move yesterday."

I didn't have time to respond as a very loud wail broke through the house. I caught the pained look in Emmett's eyes and knew immediately that his heart must be several sizes larger than mine. The most I had ever managed to feel was for one other person and that didn't amount to much more than strong familiarity, but Emmett really did seem to care deeply for his whole family.

"Will she be okay?" I asked, remembering that on some level I was meant to care too.

"Yeah, it's not like you and Jasper are running away together or anything. She's not normally like this, but with you messing with her visions she doesn't have that picture in her head of when she'll see him again to keep her going." He spoke solemnly and I tried not to believe that the small twist in my gut meant anything as I mulled over his words.

A few minutes later two sets of footsteps sounded through the house and when Jasper and Alice appeared in the doorway I felt a little awkward knowing just how intrusively I'd listened in on their private conversation.

"You ready?" Jasper asked curtly, his question directed at me and with a short nod. I stood, grasping onto my small bag of clothes while hoping there wasn't going to be any long, drawn out goodbyes.

"Let me just go and get Rosie, she's out in the back garden and I know she'd want to say goodbye." Emmett called as he walked from the room, leaving me to stand uncomfortably in the middle of the room. Meanwhile Alice clung to Jasper's side like a sullen limpet, clearly unwilling to physically let him go until the very last.

"Is Edward coming back?" I asked, breaking the taut silence with the question I knew I wasn't meant to be asking.

"He called last night Bella. He just needs some time to get his head around this whole thing and then he'll be fine." Alice replied, but I didn't miss the fact that she'd ignored my question, even though it didn't really matter. I already knew the answer, because she hadn't managed to look me in the eye once.

"Will you tell him that I'm sorry." I asked, putting as much emotion as I could muster into my voice, my eyes wide as Alice's head bobbed up, her gaze finally meeting mine.

"Oh Bella, you don't need to be sorry…" She said as she rushed from Jasper's side to wrap her arms around me in a colossal hug, her voice becoming a little muffled as she spoke into my shoulder. "I'm the one who should be sorry, I all but convinced him you were dead and if I hadn't done that then maybe it wouldn't have been such a shock for him."

I let her hold me, let her push out all of her pitiful regret into her embrace and as I gently rubbed her back in response I closed my eyes, unwilling to let Jasper see truth behind my actions.

"It's okay Alice, you don't need to be sorry. It'll all work out in the end, I know it will. I'm just sorry I didn't find you all sooner." I whispered out, squeezing her one last time before stepping away, grateful to hear Rosalie and Emmett fast approaching.

I turned to watch them walk through the door, their intertwined hands swinging effortlessly between them as an easy smile lit up Rosalie's lips.

"We've decided to come too." She said the minute they stepped over the threshold of the room.

Immediately Alice turned to Jasper, her eyes wide, but he simply shook his head and her little shoulders turned in, making her seem so small and fragile against the strength of the man by her side.

"That's so not fair." She whispered and as I watched Jasper pull her silently into his arms, I turned away feeling awkwardly intrusive.

"It'll take us a couple hours to get everything together so we're gonna follow in Emmett's Jeep, but we figured if Bella didn't want to die of boredom out in the middle of nowhere, she might need someone other than you along for entertainment." Rosalie added, nodding a little smugly in Jasper's direction.

"I'm not even gonna bother." Jasper answered dryly, obviously used to such light-hearted insults

"But I still don't get to go?" Alice asked, stuck on being left behind. No-one else in the room seemed fazed by her unwillingness to let the situation go, so I kept my mouth shut and shrugged in what I hoped was an understanding way as she looked to me for help.

"No Alice, we've been through this. You're the best hope we've got to keep Eddie from tail-spinning over Bella, so if he's coming back, you're staying." Jasper's voice had a certain finality about it and I was surprised what Alice opened her mouth again to complain, but only a little choked sob emerged. I looked away as he moved to comfort her once again and found Emmett and Rosalie both staring at me with wide grins.

"That's pretty cool that you guys are coming too….but, where are we going exactly?" I asked and Emmett broke out into his deep, easy laughter, his eyes crinkling as he found something obviously amusing in my question.

"We're going to a little place north of Montreal." Rose replied effortlessly, because to them it was obviously the most normal thing in the world to hire removal vans and relocate their opulence from one country to another. It was so far removed from picking up my body in the morning and moving to the next town, that once again I found myself at odds with their world.

The goodbyes were drawn out and tedious and the forced smile on my face was beginning to feel painful by the time I felt I could safely stow myself away in Jasper's sleek car. I watched through the windscreen, telling myself that I didn't give a damn as Alice clung ferociously to him, his arms wrapped tightly around her as he whispered something sweetly in her ear.

I was still pretending not be enthralled by their exchange when he turned and strode away, sliding into the driver's seat next to me in stony silence. I held in the sigh of frustration I really wanted to release, and stopped myself from banging my head back against the headrest. Instead I buckled my seat-belt as though we'd done this thousands of times before and waited as Jasper gunned the engine, the low purr echoing down the narrow drive as I watched the Cullen home shrink in the side mirror. I thought maybe the lack of conversation was going to be a temporary thing, but after three hundred miles, it wasn't hard to figure out that Jasper really didn't believe in idle conversation. I decided he was probably just annoyed that he'd left his mate behind, but I wasn't going to beat myself up over it, after all he was the one who'd volunteered us for this excursion from the get go.

Just when I thought we would make it all the way to our new home without saying a word to one another, Jasper's broke the silence. "You might want to hold your breath. I have to stop for gas and I don't want to take any chances." He said, his voice betraying nothing at all.

I managed to look at least a little indignant, but Jasper just raised his eyebrow before adding. "It's either that or you hold my hand the whole time we're there. It's up to you."

I made a big show of taking a deep breath into my lungs, letting my actions speak for me as I tucked my hands into my sleeves. Unlike Edward I didn't have a problem with the idea of Jasper touching me, in fact the very opposite was true. But I wasn't going to indulge some foolish notion, especially since I knew whatever unfamiliar emotions I was experiencing towards him were something I could absolutely never act upon.

The small gas station was busier than I had anticipated and as Jasper pulled up slowly to park by one of the two pumps, my gut told me this wasn't going to end well. Two men were leaning up against the tailgate on an old pickup not even thirty feet away from us, their hearts beating out of sync like an alluring mismatched song. I felt every sense in my body heighten as my focus pulled in their direction, listening so intently that I failed to notice the young girl skipping directly in front of the car. Jasper's door clicked open and as the breeze gusted in; my whole body twisted into rigid anticipation. The sound of pumping blood hammered in my head and as the little girl stopped suddenly and looked right at me, some inner sense long ignored informed her she'd just become prey. My eyes singled out the thick vein in her neck, her blood calling to me, begging me to pierce that flimsy layer of skin.

Without even thinking I jerked forward, grasping Jasper's hand.

He already had one foot out of the door, but within less than a second he was back by my side, his eyes turning me over with intense concern. He didn't say a word, nor did he wait for my reaction, he simply put the car into drive and tore out of the forecourt, stones and dust kicking up into the air behind us. All I could do was cling to his hand, knowing it was the only thing stopping me from tearing through the steel and glass to drink my fill, to taste the beautiful purity of human blood.

We didn't head back onto the highway and after ten minutes of small meandering roads, Jasper pulled off down a dirt track, only turning to look at me once he'd cut the engine. He didn't say a single word as I crawled into myself, but I could knew he was trying, and failing, to push soft empathetic emotions into my system. I fought against my instincts and tried to focus on his hand, his touch, his calm presence; eventually allowing myself to sink under his influence.

Just as I was about to pull my entwined fingers from his, I felt his resistance, his eyes asking for something that I couldn't quite grasp.

"Do you think you'd be okay here for ten minutes?" He asked, looking around us at the landscape beyond the windows but still not letting me go. "I'm gonna go scope out the area just in case, but I think it's pretty deserted."

All I could bring myself to do was nod, but as he pulled his hand and his intoxicating proximity away, I was left with a bitter emptiness. I wanted to scramble after him and cling to his side, but all I allowed myself to do was twist into a tight ball, my arms wrapping around my knees almost painfully.

"Okay…" He said as he slid back into the car, his body turned fully to face me. "There's a couple big rocks about halfway up a hillside over that way. I didn't get a read on anyone having been this way in a long time, but I'm not taking chances, okay?"

I didn't bother nodding, I just began to slowly disentangle myself. I understood his reasoning as clearly no-one could be safe in my presence but as we walked at least a mile from the road, I felt completely inept.

"I'll be back in less than twenty minutes. Don't move from this spot, don't breath." His eyes looked softer than the hard command in his tone, but as I watched him walk and eventually drive away, I figured he was probably just feeling sorry for me. I didn't feel bad that I'd lusted after human blood, after all the animals the Cullen's professed to be an adequate source of food were practically unpalatable, I just didn't want to see that look in Jasper's eye which I was sure emanated from disappointment; I didn't want him to know how weak I truly was.

We had to repeat the same tedious performance every time the car started running low on gas and each time I found myself sitting alone in the wilderness, my self-worth dropping right along with the temperatures surrounding us. By the time we pulled off onto a meandering two lane road in the middle of nowhere, I had fallen into a state of utter darkness.

In all my memories I couldn't ever remember feeling so low and as an overwhelming desire to cry burned in my throat and eyes, I only felt worse knowing it was simply something I would have to outlast. Crying was all but physically impossible and out of all the heightened emotions I'd experienced as a Vampire, abject sorrow was the absolute worst as it had no real outlet.

Jasper had been very cautious with me all day and as the miles ticked down, his worried glances had increased to become almost unbearable. A part of me wanted to snap at him, to tell him to keep his eyes on the road and his empathy to himself. But the more dangerous part longed to curl up somewhere close to him, to feel his strength wrap me up in the serenity his power couldn't reach. These thoughts were flitting into my mind with more regular frequency as I found no way out of my self-induced abyss, but all I had to do to alleviate them was remember one simple name; Aro.

I didn't even notice that the car slowed to a stop and as I shifted my head to get a better look out the front window, I was little surprised to find myself looking at a mass of trees and nothing much else at all.

"Where are we?" I asked, quickly grasping that my initial assumption of arriving at our destination was clearly off.

"We need to hunt." Jasper replied plainly and I opened my mouth to contradict his use of the plural when I remembered that because of my inability to control myself, I'd spent hours of the past few days sitting alone in destitute spaces of wilderness.

"Animals?" I sighed as I pushed open the car door, taking in deep gulps of cold air, filling my lungs with a sense of freedom that felt like heaven.

Jasper didn't reply but walked slowly to the edge of the trees, his pace slow and measured as he waited for me to catch up.

It wasn't long before we were running side by side, the dark expanse of forest coming alive around us as we moved further and further from humanity.

He sensed them first, but I was only a mere second behind and as we jerked our bodies to sprint west, I felt truly alive for the first time in days.

Jasper was beautiful in his ferocity, his whole being destroyed with such slick precision that I was too enthralled to move, the scent of blood in the air only adding to the spellbinding sight. I was still openly staring when he pushed the lifeless bear aside, dark liquid smeared on her full lips which he wiped lazily with the back of his hand.

I wanted nothing more than I wanted him in that moment. Recognising the deep need that was growing inside me, I turned away, forcing my legs to chase the thick, unappealing scent that spelled a kill not too far away.

I buried myself in the fight, pushing everything I had into destruction rather than grace and when I threw the carcass aside I found Jasper watching me from a distance. My self-loathing returned as I rubbed blood soaked palms into my jeans, finding the material already wet through itself. I looked a pitiful mess I was sure, but I lifted my shoulders high and strode to where he stood, stopping only briefly by his side and purposefully keeping my eyes away from his. "You ready?" I asked, but just as I was about to turn and walk back the way we'd come, I felt fingers wrap purposefully around my arm.

I couldn't help but turn back to him, his dark eyes so open under the moonlight that I felt childish and stupid for being so emotionally unstable around him when he was clearly so unaffected by me.

"You'll get used to the taste you know, but it'll never be the same." His voice was so low, so honest that I felt for just that moment that he was letting me in, that I was seeing a part of him that was usually buried deep within.

"Then why do you do it?" I asked quietly, not wanting to break whatever this was, but desperately needing to know.

"When Alice and I met she told me we were meant to be with the Cullens. I've killed a lot of humans and each time I've felt their fear, their hope, their desperation. I used to feed from those emotions too, but not anymore." He replied and I couldn't help it when my eyes narrowed, his answer leaving me a little cold as I felt like I'd found a weakness in his perfection, but I wasn't sure whether it was because he had walked away from one life, or because he'd found another.

"So you do it for her?" I asked, unable to stop the accusing words from slipping out.

My assumption was obviously off though as suddenly the open intimacy in his eyes was gone, replaced by a narrowed assessment. "Alice changed me; you wouldn't have liked the person I used to be. You know you won't be able to keep this up unless you really want it." He added simply and I sighed as I turned away, unable to tell him that though he might be talking about food, he had just landed closer to the truth than he would ever comprehend.

"We should get going." I said curtly as I began to walk away and this time his fingers were more insistent as he whirled me around, bringing me so close that I could feel his chest heave up and down with unnecessary breaths.

"Don't do that…don't walk away pissed." The softness of his tone was gone, replaced by a thin layer of irritation.

"I'm not." I sighed, because I really wasn't. I was walking away because I couldn't handle this, knowing I was standing here feeling something completely different to him.

"Talk to me…" He pleaded and involuntarily my eyes trailed upwards to meet his. I felt words form and lodge in my throat, choking me with all the things I wanted to say but really couldn't.

Instead I turned and walked steadily away and only when I thought he was too far away to hear did I answer him under my breath, darkness pooling heavily in my heart. "I can't."


	7. The Shield

**a/n: Sorry it's late but I've been struggling with this story (not the words or the plot), but with the motivation to keep going = this was only meant to be short (and still might be in comp to my other stories) but my wordiness is getting in the way...anyway, thanks for reading...much love xxx**

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The rest of the laborious drive was filled with a fraught self-induced silence and by the time we finally parked up in front of an unsurprisingly opulent house, I simply didn't have it in me to produce any of the usually expected platitudes.

All along I had pictured myself leaping to my freedom once we finally pulled to a stop, but if anything, now that the time was here the very opposite was true. I had told myself repeatedly that once we left this journey behind, whatever weird emotion I had tied to Jasper would be cut free. I wanted to share my thoughts with him, to let him know that I was moving on from our nothing moment in the woods and the only way I knew to do that was with distance, but I didn't open my mouth to speak and he made no indication he wished to leave. So we sat silently for a few minutes longer, each absorbed in our own world of thoughts.

Jasper moved first and instead of feeling like I'd let something important slip through my fingers, I watched his muscular body climb the wooden stairs to our new home and felt like I'd finally done something right.

I knew for sure now that I had been too stuck on the strange way I seemed to react when he was around and I was weaker for it. It was time to let go of what could never be and place my energy into something that _had_ to be. So with one steady breath, I turned my focus from the man in front of me, to one who was avoiding me from thousands of miles away.

No doubt having been instructed by Esme on the rules of etiquette, Jasper gave me a brief tour of the property and like a good little guest I trailed behind; nodding and making small nonsensical noises when it looked like he needed a response.

"So this one is going to be yours I guess." Jasper offered as we slowed to a halt outside an unremarkable dark wood door. I reached my hand out with uncertainty to touch the grain; feeling like that final step to integrate myself into their world was poised on the other side. I could feel Jasper lingering behind me, so even though I didn't feel like I wanted to, I pushed the door open revealing a large open room within. There was no furniture inside, but a soft light poured in from large French windows and the view beyond was spectacular.

I felt Jasper retreat somewhere else in the house and so with a small mental nudge I pushed my feet into the space that he'd called mine. I wasn't sure whether it was right or wrong to feel a tingle of happiness as I imagined just how it would be to curl up on a large soft bed, to sit reading with the doors wide open and a cool breeze flowing in. My body automatically pulled me to the doors leading out onto a small veranda, where I found much like their previous home, the back yard was immense; though without Esme's strict gardening regimen it was wilder, more heathen in its honesty.

Leaving behind the safe confines of my room, I wound my way quickly through the house to find myself down at the back porch. I had only seen it from a distance, but sat just at the corner edge of the garden was an immense, enchanting tree. Walking closer I spotted my branch immediately, higher than the roof of the imposing house and offering a great view of the world beyond. Though my room was nice I knew instantaneously I had found my new home.

Lying out on the branch I'd coveted from the ground, I closed my eyes and listened to the familiar sounds of nature. From a few miles back in the forest I could hear the dull distinctive roar of a waterfall and judging from the sound of it not a small one. Animals meandered unassumingly and leaves rustled in the melody of the wind. While I was aware of almost everything around me, it wasn't hard to miss Jasper talking quietly on his cell phone indoors, telling Alice all about the trials of our laborious journey.

I tried to focus back on the roar in the woods but it was no use and as I heard lingering words of love followed by light footsteps, I knew my solitude wasn't going to last for long.

"Bella, do you want to go and see Eleazar soon, the Denali's live a few hours run from here and Carlisle thinks he might have more insight into your anomalies?"

I didn't ask how he knew where to find me, as I'd sensed no hesitancy in his steps, but I found I didn't particularly want to look his way either.

"Can we go tomorrow Jasper? If you wouldn't mind I'd like to just be alone." I replied coolly but he made no steps to move and I forced my eyes to focus solely on the branch above, hoping to wait him out.

Days of almost entire silence had clearly been wearing on Jasper and in truth the distance between us had been exhausting, but I knew that it was necessary. Each moment of each day seemed to be spent either trying to keep my distance from him, or chastising myself for thinking about him in any context at all.

"Please come down, I spoke to Alice and she told me Edward's back. Emmett and Rosalie were held up by Esme asking for their help, but everyone should be arriving in a few days and I don't know about you but I think I'd like to spend at least some of that time not feeling like shit."

The coarseness of his words turned my head immediately and I found him sitting below me, leaning casually against the tree as he picked at the grass beside him.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my words so quiet that a part of me almost hoped he wouldn't hear.

"C'mon Bella, I'm not a fucking idiot. I know somethings up with you, and if you don't want to share, that's fine. But you're running so hot and cold that I can't…" He stalled and I found my body twisting even further to catch the nuances of his movements, not realising I would be caught out when he lifted his head, his eyes meeting mine with a hard honesty.

"…I can't figure out if it's you, or it's me and normally I would just be able to fix whatever the fuck was up, but I can't and it's driving me fucking insane." He finished and I couldn't do anything but tear my eyes away.

"Fine, we'll go see Carlisle's friend." I offered stubbornly, ignoring every ounce of sincerity he'd just laid as my feet.

I couldn't help but be afraid of what Eleazar would say. According to Carlisle he would probably be able to tell me why I looked so different; so _human._ But I didn't want to know. What if James had been right? What if something had gone wrong and I wasn't what I was meant to be? Perfectly content to remain in my ignorance I hoped Jasper would find frustration in my unwillingness to indulge him, but his response was spoken brusquely before pulling himself to his feet slowly and stalking back to the house.

"We leave in five, be ready."

Jasper returned what felt like precisely five minutes later and a little begrudgingly I climbed from my branch, dropping down gracefully to the grass, landing a few feet from where he stood. His face was turned slightly from mine, staring at something unknown in the woods, but I could clearly see the tension in his features, his lips pressed together to form a thin line.

"Is everything okay?" I asked without thinking, his strange behaviour catching me a little off guard as he kept his eyes trained to the distance.

"Yeah I think so, I thought I could sense something but I guess I was wrong." He turned to me with his words and threw me a meagre smile, one which clearly stated that whatever words he was trying to fob me off with, they certainly weren't the truth.

I didn't have a chance to question his honesty though, as not a moment later I was watching his back as he flew off into the forest, leaving me fighting to keep up.

It felt nice to run in silence, the darkening dusk night heavy with life as we sprinted towards the moonlight. I felt my spirits lift and begin to soar with the freedom of running. I was happy to be spending time with Jasper in a companionable state, though I could think of nothing to relieve the tension that I felt the remainder of the time when I was with him. I watched him as he lithely moved around tightly packed trees and seeing him take on a new direction, I followed quickly behind.

From my new vantage point I watched as Jasper slowed slightly, before coming to a sudden stop.

"Were you watching me?" He asked as he whirled around and I nodded, his tone had been slightly accusatory and I wasn't sure if I had offended him.

I waited in silence as felt his eyes on me like fire. I had no idea why we had stopped, as I could sense no sign of life around us other than the small animals who inhabited the surrounding forestry.

"You're happy." He stated and I felt myself coil inwards as I immediately worried over how he knew and why from his tone this was clearly so wrong.

"I can feel it." He added in that same cold voice and I felt my insides turn directly to jelly. My first instinct was to stumble back, to put some distance between us so that he wouldn't have access to anything internal and my second was to feel a rush of fear strike my spine. I hadn't really thought about them for days, but with a flash of The Volturi's warning in my mind, suddenly my whole world felt like it was falling apart. If Jasper could feel my emotions then he would feel my contempt when Edward touched me, he would know that behind a feigned smile was something a little closer to repulsion; in short, he would know everything.

I couldn't pull myself back from a whirlwind of panic and so when Jasper took a step towards me with his palms raised in the air, I did the only thing I physically could, I turned and ran.

I could feel him chasing me and so my feet pushed me a little faster, my muscles burning just a little more. I didn't want him to catch me, couldn't face what he would know when he did, but it was also inevitable.

I had barely managed to put any distance between us at all when I felt a solid weight tackle me and push me unceremoniously into the forest floor. I kicked and scrambled, clawed and fought, but he was simply too strong to resist.

Finally I let my body go limp, but his arms didn't let go. He was holding me and all I could feel was a swirl of panic and desire, and then realising he would feel those things an added deluge of panic set in. I was completely out of control and the stern look of concentration on his face wasn't helping things either.

"Stop it!" I yelled and began to struggle once again but his hard grip never let up and I knew if I were human he would have broken my bones with his bare hands.

His eyes darkened as I stilled once again and this time I forced myself to calm, knowing there was nothing I could do. If Jasper could feel my emotions, then there was no reason why Edward wouldn't hear my thoughts. I was done.

Fear turned to acceptance and just as suddenly as it did, I caught Jasper's eyes flicker with interest.

"Please just let me go." I begged, meeting his gaze full on as he silently assessed each facet of me he had access to.

"Why do I get the feeling if I do that I'll never see you again?" He asked and I turned away.

"Because you won't." I answered plainly and his features contorted again, giving me just a glimpse of his concealed frustration.

"I won't let you go until you promise to stay, at least until Alice gets back. You guys are close and I know she can help you through this." I didn't want to tell him that Alice was the absolute last person I wanted to see but judging from the way his eyes narrowed slightly, he had already sensed that in my emotions.

"Let me go and stop doing that." I commanded angrily, feeling a little smidge of victory when his grip loosened slightly.

"Promise you won't leave." He retaliated and I had no reply. I couldn't promise because he would sense my lie.

"Would Carlisle's friend know why you can do this all of a sudden?" I asked, clinging to a small iota of hope that maybe if he did, he might also know a way to make it go away too.

"He might." Jasper replied and as he sprung back easily to his feet, I knew we were both certain I wouldn't leave until I knew for sure.

"Let's go then." I said while waving my hand impatiently and as Jasper took off with only a hint of hesitation, I spent the rest of our run trying to concentrate on feeling absolutely nothing at all. But it was useless and was almost as though I could see every emotion I had ever felt flowing in the currents I created in the air around me.

When we finally arrived I found the Denali home was far more dramatic than either of the Cullen homes had been. We were welcomed in with bright smiles and found the beautiful white and silver furniture covered the interior, a minimalist extravagance that left me feeling cold. The Denali's clearly enjoyed a less homely and more modern twist to their abodes.

Three beautiful females stood watching us with interest as Jasper waxed lyrical with an handsome older vampire who I assumed was Eleazar. I didn't understand if they expected me to feel intimidated by their watchful eyes, because even though the welcome had been friendly enough, they certainly weren't sure about me. I took a small step to stand closer to Jasper and caught a flicker in Eleazer's attentions, seemingly intrigued by my movements.

"Eleazar, I would like you to meet Isabella, our newest family member." Jasper offered as he swept his hand back to include me in their conversation.

"Isabella, it is a pleasure." Eleazar outstretched his hand towards me and though I was done with the forced humanity I kept finding in this bizarre existence, I didn't want to appear rude. Taking his slightly cold hand in her own, I absently thought about much colder Eleazar felt than Jasper.

"Thank you for meeting with us." I managed to mumble out as I felt all the eyes in the room centre on me.

Eleazar motioned for us to follow him as he took a seat on a pristine white sofa. Sitting on the other side of Jasper, I noted that the sofa felt as uncomfortable as it looked, the Denali's obviously didn't have a video game playing Emmett in their midst, as he would never stand for this.

"Jasper, I would like to speak to Isabella privately, if she is comfortable with that?" I looked between Eleazar and Jasper and couldn't help but feel that Eleazar had been asking for Jasper's permission which baffled me slightly. Looking to Jasper to see if he could offer any insights, I saw he was looking at me, asking for my permission. What if I said no, I wondered.

"That would be fine Eleazar." Jasper finally responded and as I tried not to overthink everything I stood to show I was ready for our private chat. Eleazar followed my lead and then led me through the house to a study, very similar to Carlisle's, but more clinical in its projection. Watching Eleazar sit, I remained standing, feeling too restless to be static.

"Please Isabella, take a seat, I really would like you to feel at home here."

Reluctantly I took the seat directly across from him, his intense gaze keeping me from truly taking his words to heart and relaxing.

"Isabella, I am sure Carlisle has informed you of what my gift is. May I ask you some questions?"

As I nodded Eleazar began. "Do you recall if your eyes were this color when you were human?"

"I don't believe so, I was just as shocked by my appearance as everyone else seems to be, I believe they were brown."

He paused for several moments, looking me over in obvious interest before laying his hands down on the desk, his body pushing the chair back in relaxation.

"Your appearance doesn't appear to be a gift. Quite simply put I believe it is a defence mechanism. You look more human than any vampire I have ever seen, you're warm and you're scent is quite confusing. I believe you are, in a manner, imitating a human. You will probably find that humans don't fear you as they will others of our kind, but vampires will also probably be perplexed by you. Though we try to fit in with the human world, they are never quite sure of us; an age old instinct lingers in their instincts, warning them against us. You would be very useful in the wrong hands dear and I would warn you against those who might seek to exploit your differences."

"You look confused Isabella, am I not explaining very well." He asked when he was met with stony silence.

I couldn't help but feel a little lost, the Volturi had shown little interest in me and everyone else seemed to feel I was faulty, not special.

"Isabella, there is something known in the animal kingdom as Batesian mimicry; where a harmless species has evolved to mimic the characteristics of a predator species. Here let me write that down for you so you can do some research of your own." He reached for a pen and began to scribble down words on a blank sheet of creamy paper.

"So I'm harmless?" I asked, finally breaking my silence as I tried to gather the pieces of what he was trying to tell me.

Eleazar couldn't help but laugh aloud at what I presumed he saw as innocence.

"Hardly dear! You are quite possibly more dangerous than any of us. No, I believe your appearance is quite to opposite to the Batesian mimicry. You are the epitome of the predator imitating the prey. Quiet deadly I'm certain. But I believe it might be more a tool to distract vampires from your existence than to lure humans to it, especially if you are weaker in other ways. I could be wrong but as I said before I believe it is a defence mechanism so to speak"

I nodded understanding a little better, but anxious to return home to look up the Batesian thing Eleazar kept bringing up.

"So, would you like to know about your gift?" He asked politely and I nodded once in response knowing already what he would say.

"You are a shield dear, a very powerful one it would seem…but you already knew that didn't you?" He asked rhetorically, his intuition leaving us in silence as he obviously waited to hear the question I truly wanted answering.

"Jasper can feel my emotions. He couldn't…well not at first anyway, or he said he couldn't. But today, on the way here, he did…how can I stop it?" I asked, my body leaning forward slightly as I so desperately wanted to hear the solution.

"You can't." He replied simply and I felt my whole body sink in defeat. It wasn't the answer I wanted or needed and immediately I turned my thoughts to running. I was already on my feet before he had a chance to say anymore and as my hand curled around the door knob, I heard his parting words.

"Not unless you don't want him to."

I turned quickly but his eyes were full of something that looked a little too close to sympathy for my liking.

"That can't be right because trust me, I categorically don't want him feeling anything." I replied, my fists curled up as I tried to control the swirl of emotional confusion burning inside me.

"Well the only one letting him in is you, so whether you want to hear it or not, you're the only one who can stop letting him in. If I were you, I would spend my time worrying why you have chosen to let your shield down with Jasper, not how" His words were spoken gently but I was too stuck on the realisation that he couldn't help me fix it and so I nodded curtly and left, all the while screaming at him in my head that he was wrong. There was nothing more I wanted in the world and for some reason or other, that wasn't enough to make it stop.


	8. The Middle

It's wasn't hard to leave Eleazar and his all too friendly family behind, but the relief only lasted for moments as Jasper and I ran out into the night. Being alone with him all I could focus on was the fact that he could feel every little thing that fluttered through me and quite simply I wanted it to stop. I seriously considered pulling a sharp turn and twisting myself out somewhere into the unknown Canadian wilderness, but just as that thought turned into a concrete possibility Jasper skidded to a stop.

"Eleazar couldn't fix it huh?" He asked plainly as he whirled around to face me head on, his eyes challenging me as I turned away to look at the prospect of beyond.

"He said it's all on me." I replied glumly, unable or unwilling to meet his eyes, I wasn't quite sure which. I was fed up of our mini-heart to hearts and completely incapable of hiding it.

"So we'll work on that then." Jasper responded firmly, his voice clear with that quiet confidence I'd heard him use once or twice around Alice. I had nothing to retaliate with and instead found myself turning to face him, finding him waiting on me expectantly.

"And how exactly do you propose we do that?" I asked defensively, only to find his reply to be a soft shrug of his shoulders. He was infuriating in his certainty that this could be solved so easily, but as my thoughts turned to the fact that Edward would be arriving shortly, I had a decision to make and fast. It was either run now and face whatever price I would be forced to pay, or stay and hope to muddle through this new challenge.

I was stuck between some sort of gargantuan wall sized rock and an impenetrable place and from the frown in Jasper's eyes he knew it. I was finding no way through the decision when I noticed Jasper was edging closer to me, I quickly moved out of his reach.

"Just let me see…?" He asked and this time he moved with even more caution as I felt each muscle in my body coil up in preparation for his touch. It felt like hours passed between us as he moved ever closer and just at that moment when I felt the air around my skin swirl away I baulked. The balloon of anticipation that had been building to an unmanageable size in my chest exploded as I took off into the night.

I had no destination in mind, but when I found myself caught up in our lingering scents, I felt almost disappointed to realise I had managed to circle back to the Cullen home. I couldn't bring myself to step into the confines of the actual property itself, but the allure of my tree was too much to resist.

When Jasper slowly approached almost an hour later I felt my whole body tense in preparation. But the confrontation I was expecting was avoided when he chose to ignore me completely. I listened for hours as he existed aimlessly, the mundane swish of paper on paper turning from a mild irritant to a soft comfort as dawn broke.

I had never existed so peacefully alongside another person before and for a few hours as the bitter breeze was softened only by the warm rays of midday sunshine, I felt like all the worries in the world were far enough away to ignore.

That was all destroyed in a moment as a distant drone reached my ears. I knew who it was before I could pull the second and third engine from the low roar and though I hadn't moved a muscle, I knew Jasper would be able to feel the panic swirling under my emotionless façade.

"Please don't tell them." I whispered out as my eyes trailed over the harsh contours of the branch above me, but the only response I found was the sound of soft footsteps, followed by the almost imperceptible squeak of the back door.

My head dropped instantly and the regret was already clear in his eyes, telling me what his words wouldn't. For just a moment I had imagined he had even an iota of control over anything, but then the reality of my new life descended and I remembered that even if he wanted to keep my secret his, there were things in this world out of his control too.

I took one steady breath into my lungs as I savoured my last fragment of peace, placing each memory of this strange relief into a carefully hidden space with me. I would dwell on it later, but for now I had a plan to put into place, come hell or whatever else I would be left to deal with.

The ground sent a sharp impact up my spine as I jumped carelessly and for an absent second I revelled in the moment of pain, shaking the moment from my mind as I walked slowly towards the spot where Jasper had stood only moments before. He had already moved around to the front of the house and as the sound of cars filled almost every sense in my body I found my way to his side.

They emerged from the vehicles so effortlessly and with such grace that it was hard to find my original trepidation, but then _he_ appeared and I felt a torrent of fear claim me. I was barely inches from Jasper's touch when I caught Edward's eye narrow and I forced myself to find those moments of peace I'd hidden away, my thoughts turning to Jasper's comforting touch in the woods as I stared into Edward's unfeeling eyes.

His feet carried him to my side without a word and when I felt the stares of everyone scorch my skin, I worked on pushing everyone and everything but him from my mind.

"Can we talk?" I asked softly, but it seemed my request was not first on the list of things that required his attention.

Some strange form of possession took hold of him and Edward pushed in front of me, his body forming a physical shield between myself and Jasper.

"You can feel her emotions." He accused coldly and though his height superceeded mine easily, his narrow form made it easy to catch the unreadable gaze Jasper was throwing Edward's way. It was almost unbearable as they entertained some form of silent conversation and when the pressure became too much as I imagined all the things Edward might see, I found myself tugging on his arm, begging for his attention.

He took the fear that he saw in Jasper's mind the wrong way and instead of turning to me with accusatory eyes as he should, instead the cold had been replaced with a gentle warmth.

"I shouldn't have left you alone with him. It was wrong of me, especially when you needed my protection." His long fingers found their way across the bare skin along my jaw and I closed my eyes, forcing my more primal side to simply enjoy the feeling of such a gentle touch.

I heard every single creak of wood as the rest of the family made their way inside, but I was feeding on the pleasure of his touch. I found the action far easier than I imagined I would and for the first time in days felt the weight lift slightly from my shoulders. Maybe this wasn't so impossible after all.

My fragment of relief were shattered the moment I heard Alice's voice from what felt like barely i6nches away, but when I opened my eyes she was standing hesitantly in the open doorway, her eyes warily passing between the two of us and our proximity.

"What is it Alice?" I heard Edward ask, a little exasperation twinged in his tone.

"Esme had a question about sleeping arrangements and…" It wouldn't be unfair to say that Alice sounded ridiculously uncomfortable and I was intrigued to see what Edward would have to say in response.

"Alice, please stop." Edward sighed and as she turned her back to us and left without another word, I felt like I was once again only grasping half the conversation.

"That's really annoying you know!" I offered to no-one in particular but his soft chuckle immediately drew my attention back to Edward.

"You always used to think so, yes." His smile managed to make his eyes brighten with some emotion I had yet to feel and I felt myself wondering just what the human Bella he used to know would do in this moment.

What could have been a wonderful moment of opportunity became strained and awkward as I overthought each possibility and as Edward pulled back from me emotionally I cursed my inability to take that next step.

"I'm glad you came back." I finally said, breaking the silence with what I hoped was the kind of sincerity and attention he would want. But he was already emotionally tying off from me and I recognised that my moments of indecision, if unseen to, would come to break me in the end.

"Please don't do that. It's hard enough that I only remember you as this distant feeling, but I'm trying. I want to remember, you, me, everything. I want it all back." I pleaded easily with him and as I felt the edges of his hard façade curl inwards slightly, it wasn't hard to feel a moment of triumph to see him fall so easily for my lies.

"You want to take a walk?" I heard him ask, but my mind was elsewhere as I watched the figure take shape in the distance. His uniform made it clear he meant no harm, but I still couldn't prevent every iota of my body switch to high alert as I found his heartbeat, even from a clear mile away.

I wasn't even sure if Edward knew what was happening as strong arms lifted me into their embrace. The world was moving too fast around me to truly catch up to what was going on, but when I felt my body collide with a thick branch, I whipped back around as fast as the moment would allow.

Edward had his arms outstretched pressing Jasper firmly into a nearby tree, but their body language told far more than any first impression allowed. I was still watching closely as Edward snarled in unreciprocated menace when Alice appeared from nowhere, her heavy presence belying her miniscule frame.

"Edward, please don't do this. Jasper was only making sure Bella didn't do something silly." She coaxed, but neither Jasper nor Edward even twitched her way and consciously I tried to physically retreat into the background.

"Edward!" Alice demanded and this time I caught the way his shoulders began to drop slightly as his tautened muscles released, his hold on Jasper relenting as whatever power Alice had over him began to take effect.

I noticed Alice looking my way and as our eyes caught, she nodded once and from her I took my lead. "Please Edward?" I begged as I approached him from behind, breaking as many twigs underfoot as I could along the way.

My hands were tentative at first as they met his broad shoulders, but as my eyes locked with Jasper, who appeared entirely too calm for the situation he was in, I felt my confidence grow. I tried to picture another me as I felt his muscles twinge under my palms and I closed my eyes to let the illusion grow. I didn't think how strange my behaviour might be until I heard Alice clearing her throat behind me, breaking me from my reverie.

"Sorry." I stammered as I pulled myself back from their confrontation, but it seemed my touch had been enough as Edward pulled back with me.

"Don't be sorry love." He murmured as he turned to face me, Jasper completely forgotten as he turned his hands to my body instead.

I was fully aware of the eyes looking in our direction as I felt Edward attempt to completely engulf me. I wasn't sure how else to describe it, but it suddenly felt as though a huge wave of pressure was sitting over the entire expanse of my body and as I tried to pull back, he only endeavoured to pull me in further.

I didn't know how to explain to Edward that what he was doing felt so incredibly wrong, so I did the only thing I could in the moment. Without another second's thought I pulled him to me by his shirt, finding his lips with mine.

It wasn't an easy kiss, the desperation in every movement of his body sliced into mine with its wanton need, but I pressed on, forcing myself to simply feel, to forget about the who, and the why, and the where.

It was becoming easier to give in to the more instinctual sides of my nature and just as I began to pull him forward to the nearest tree, I felt his resistance.

"Hmm?" I asked as he pulled away and before I could even take note that we were alone, he was turning his body from mine.

"You can't do that. You can't just distract me with these base things every time something doesn't go right Bella." He forced, his tone irate even though I knew there was more hidden within. I knew I just needed to get past his barriers to those emotions and I would be home free, but he was so guarded, so protected against me.

"And you can't keep trying to push your way into my head," I countered, knowing exactly that was what he'd been trying to do before I'd kissed him.

He stood for a moment with his back to me and the air seemed to still between us and I felt like we were truly on the cusp of something.

"I don't remember anything Edward, I barely even remember pieces of you, but I know this is where I'm meant to be. So, please, stop pushing me away."

The silence around us grew as his back remained to me, the distance between us growing as we both stood still. I didn't even know this man, but I was tying myself to him in ways I couldn't begin to unravel and not a single moment of it felt right, no matter how hard I wished it could be.

"Why him then? Why Jasper?" He asked and I felt like finally a piece of his exterior had developed a crack with that one admission, that one question.

Unfortunately it was a question that I just didn't have the answer to and as I battled to think of something, anything really, that might constitute a viable response, I could feel time stretch out between us.

"I don't know, but Eleazar thinks it's something I'm doing." I responded, using the truth when I finally cottoned on to the reality that if I didn't tell him then he would simply see it in Jasper's head anyway.

"Eleazar?" He asked with a little confusion in his tone and though I didn't say a word, I silently begged him to turn around; to at least face me so it didn't feel like I having this conversation with someone was wasn't even invested.

"We went to see him." I responded simply, refusing to say anymore until he at least acknowledged me as I moved to sit on a near fallen branch.

It took a few minutes for Edward to catch up with the way the conversation was going to go from this point, but when he did he seemed to turn and walk towards me willingly, understanding that if he wanted more it would be on both our terms.

"He told me he thinks my appearance is some kind of mimicry… as though I'm pretending to be human to disguise my weaknesses. Maybe it makes sense, but I'm not quite sure yet to be honest. Anyway, on the way there Jasper realised he could feel my emotions. I'm not happy about it, but Eleazar seems to think I'm the one letting him in. I don't think he's right, but…" I lifted my shoulders in an exaggerated shrug and turned to rest my head on my shoulder, looking him over as he rested his forearms on his knees.

"So it's a choice then." He surmised, ignoring the parts I chose to believe I'd given him out of an attempt to make him feel included in my life, no matter how forced.

"No. Not a conscious one anyway. I know we've only just found each other again, but you left me with him and he was the only person I had. I'm sure Alice told you but when I nearly attacked that girl, when Jasper was the only one to help me… I don't know, maybe it was that…." I left it there, knowing for sure that nothing I had said was even close to the truth, but as Edward reached his palm out for mine, I didn't even manage to dredge up even a splinter of guilt as he turned to me with his big sincere eyes.

"I shouldn't have left you." He said frankly and though I felt like offering some affirmation, that he shouldn't have left me, that he shouldn't have even found me in the first place, a smiled a soft little smile that I thought he would appreciate as I snuggled in a little closer to him, accepting his hand as though it were the gift he assumed it to be.

"It doesn't matter what we've done, all that matters is that we're together again." I said, filling the air with platitudes that fell all too easily from lips that made me wonder who I would become before I saw this through to the end.


	9. The Kindred

Edward and I walked back through the woods at a very human pace, our entwined hands the only thing breaking the chasm between us. My insides were swirling as the house drew ever nearer and when we finally stepped over the threshold, I found myself looking everywhere but at Jasper eyeing us openly from where he sat, his arm draped languidly over Alice next to him.

I kept my focus on those few hours of peaceful solitude I had found in the simplistic awareness of Jasper's presence, knowing my emotions would be soft and pleasant, giving nothing away of the turmoil embedded within.

"Bella, I'm sorry we haven't had a chance to properly say hello yet, but it's only fair to mention Jasper briefly told us of your visit with Eleazar." Carlisle's words hung in the air and I knew this was the opening segue for me to bare my soul.

I plastered a smile on my face and pulled Edward with me to the nearest open sofa and then with inflections of humility I relayed word for word what Eleazar had told me, purposefully leaving out everything to do with Jasper's newfound window into my soul. I was almost certain they all knew, but I felt like maybe, just maybe, if I didn't say it aloud they would understand that I simply had no inclination to share.

"That's an interesting theory and I believe Eleazar has seen something in you that others might find quite desirable." Something crossed Carlisle's bright eyes and when he noticed me watching him so intently, he threw me a pitiful smile, one I knew he hadn't even attempted to make whole. There was something in Eleazar's words that I'd not seen, something dark and probably true, but it had laid me bare to Carlisle and I felt just a little more exposed for it.

"So what do you think of the new place Belly?" A loud voice prompted, nudging me from my internal musings as I truly noted for the first time that it wasn't just Jasper watching me from across the room. Both Emmett and Rosalie's faces were expressive and open and for the first time since I jolted myself from on the ground, I found myself really wanting to smile.

"I've found a great tree." I replied and the grin which took over Emmett's face was wonderful to see. I knew by all rights I should feel uneasy knowing something so simply spoken could bring him joy, but he and his reactions continued to be excessively contagious.

"C'mon, show us." He pressed and I found my body rising, leaving Edward and his hand behind without a second thought.

I was halfway across the room when I caught Alice's eye and noticed the way she was looking at me curiously. My feet faltered and soon enough I had drawn to an uneasy stop, all eyes turning to mine. I wasn't sure quite what I'd done wrong, but I knew it was something different, something the old me wouldn't have done. I looked back over my shoulder at Edward briefly, his face unreadable as the air around me closed in.

The whole blip must have taken merely seconds but it felt like an eternity and when I finally got my feet moving again I led Emmett and Rosalie silently out of the house. Only when we were all sitting in a quiet row on my designated branch in the tree did I dare to open my mouth.

"So how was the drive up?" I offered with all the unaffected bravado I could muster, but for all the wrong reasons they found the lingering sadness in my voice.

"The old Bella wouldn't really have gone anywhere without Edward, or Edward's permission. You didn't do anything wrong, it's just we're not used to this you." Rosalie replied gently, completely ignoring my inane question.

I didn't really feel like getting into what old Bella would or wouldn't have done, but the opportunity was simply too good to miss and so with something akin to an internal deep breath, I plunged in. "Will you tell me what it was like…before I mean?"

They didn't answer for the longest time and I was beginning to think that maybe they just wouldn't, when suddenly Emmett spoke up.

"Edward didn't really let us spend any time around you without him being there…and you didn't seem to mind, or notice, in fact if anything it seemed what you wanted and to be honest Rosie here wasn't a big fan of the whole 'let's be besties with a human', so we only sort of saw you in passing."

It wasn't exactly a pretty picture, not the all-encompassing romance I expected but more like a puppy trailing behind its master.

"He shouldn't have involved himself in your life, after all you were human. We tried to warn him, but of course he wouldn't listen. But you were just as stubborn and even when he told you what we were, what it would mean to be with him, knowing how adamant he was about not changing you…well, it seemed no matter how wrong it was, you were both as foolish as the other." Rosalie spoke with a sadness that seemed to nestle its way under my skin, irritating me with how deeply I felt her pain.

I wanted to scream how wrong it all was, that they had all stood by so conveniently as he tore apart the innocence of my humanity, leaving me open to all of this. It wasn't the life I was meant to live and just thinking about how foolish my human counterpart must have been made me boil up with anger.

I had forgotten all about my emotional feeding partner when suddenly the back door was thrown open, glass shattering as it clattered loudly against the wall.

The back yard was filled with chaos in seconds and I knew that my unconcealed, bubbling anger was the source. Jasper had felt it and either knowingly or otherwise, had shared it was Edward. There was nothing I could say to explain just how much angrier I felt to know that they were all feeding from something so intensely private.

I leapt from the tree and stood waiting as they approached me. My eyes should have been drawn to Jasper as Edward, both stalking my way with mismatched expressions of concern and anger but it was the petite brunette, the one still standing on the decking as she fingered the shards of glass clinging to the edges of the door who seemed so out of place. Her movements were deliberate and sullen and though there were voices being raised all over the yard, it was Alice who scared me with her quiet, despondent air.

"What the hell was going on out here?" Edward demanded, spittle flying from his mouth as he rose up on the balls of his feet to stand in Emmett's face.

I pulled my eyes away from Alice as I pressed my hand to Edward's chest, pushing him backwards with considerable difficulty. There was no way that Edward was going to win this fight and the threat was obviously for show, but I felt weak and exposed knowing this had all happened because of my lack of control. Sighing, I threw a hateful look at Jasper who showed no sign of acknowledgement in response, before pushing my whole body into Edward's path.

"They didn't do anything. I was just angry. Sometimes I'm not very good at controlling how I feel and I'm not used to having to really." I tried to explain, not really wanting to get to the source of anything.

"You were angry?" Asked Emmett from behind me, his voice a little higher than normal, probably from the impromptu attack or the realisation that I wasn't falling into a pit of despair like the Bella they knew should be.

"I was angry." I affirmed quickly, unsure now if I would have to apologise to Emmett and Rose too for something that I had absolutely no control over.

"Why?" He asked openly and I closed my eyes, trying to find that internal fortitude I'd been clinging so ferociously to earlier. It was wrong I knew, but in my mind I desperately longed to reach out and spread my fingers across Jasper's chest, to find the peace he so effortlessly brought simply with proximity.

Just the thought alone seemed to work on my chaotic insides and as I slowly opened my eyes and let the colours of the world seep back in, I didn't feel like everything was going to fall apart, at least not yet.

With a forced light hearted chuckle I took another step forward, forcing Edward even further away from the confrontation he'd been ready to pursue while completely ignoring Emmett's question.

"Let's go inside, I haven't even had a chance to show you my room yet." I raised my head slightly to see him mull over his options, to follow my lead or linger in a show of anger and protection I was clearly unwilling to entertain.

When he nodded his head shortly, I knew that for now he was won over, I didn't turn from him as we made our way through the on looking Cullens, but when we raised our feet to take the steps up to the porch where I'd last seen Alice, my eyes searched her out, finding her half hidden in the shadows.

Something more had occurred than I'd seen to have such an effect on her, but with a willing Edward in my palm I simply didn't have the inclination to find out what it was.

I led him up through the house and when we reached our destination I twirled uncharacteristically in the middle of the dust motes. When he closed my bedroom door behind us, I began to realise there was actually very little for us there to see.

"What do you think? Jasper said this one was mine." I said with feigned glee.

"We'll have to go into town to pick out some furniture for you. Or we can have Esme take care of it if you'd like?" He stood rigidly mere inches from the doorway, his hands clasped behind his back as though he were actually afraid to touch anything. But I wasn't ready to let this moment pass and so with a little skip I moved to his side, pulling him into the room by his shirt.

"Where do you think I should put my bed? I mean, should I even get one?" I smiled with all the innocence I could muster as I caught his eyes flicker down to the floor. Edward was a strange creature and it seemed very sensitive to things I would have expected him to be completely at ease with.

He stood like a beautiful statue unwilling to play the game I was leading him to and it was only through frustration that I found the honesty he was so desperately searching for. "Can we try this please? I mean, I know that this must be hard for you and God knows its hard for me too, but I want you to let me in. Tell me about us, how we met, who we were. Everything. I want to know everything." I was pleading with him and as he raised his hand to touch my cheek, I pushed all the repulsion aside to simply feel.

It took weeks for him to truly open up, to tell me how he would watch his human Bella sleep, how he had revelled in her fragility and the unbelievably willpower it took just to be around her. His touches became longer and less restrained and as we increasingly kept ourselves away from the others, I began to see that what I had once believed was nothing like the truth behind the girl I had once been.

I no longer had to push aside the repulsion and hatred I had once held for him, and as his kisses became more insistent and his tentative hands roamed a little longer, it was purely the pleasure of his physical touch that I welcomed as pity crawled under the surface of my skin.

I couldn't find the foolish human girl he described anywhere within me, no matter how hard I tried and it was only with forced effort that I told myself I could forgive him for introducing her to this world, for beginning what was to be her end. He spoke as though we were one and the same, his human and the vampire in front of him, but in my mind I couldn't bridge that gap, I couldn't find her or the love she shared with this man. But what I did find was with each new intimate revelation he shared, each iota of pain I felt sing in the cadence of his voice, I managed to embrace a new level of acceptance. He really had loved his human Bella, unfortunately he had cared more about that love than the girl he was destroying in the process.

Perhaps if there had been nothing other than the two of us we could have muddled along, maybe time and ignorance could have fixed what James's venom had broken. After all it had only taken a few weeks to lull myself into a place of complacency. But as we rushed through the forest, the exhilaration of a fresh kill still lingering deliciously in the air, I was too caught up in the pure pleasure of dodging a never ending influx of trees to hear the sweet laughter mixed in with the familiar resonances of the Cullens.

It was Edward who alerted me to the stranger, his body tense as he pulled to a stop underneath the tree I had all but willed myself to forget. His unusual stance forced my senses open and as I picked up her sweet voice I searched every memory I had for any hint of familiarity. The conversation I was openly overhearing seemed to suggest she was a stranger to us all, but I couldn't push aside the ominous foreboding feeling as we drew ever closer.

Edward pushed open the back door with a carefree ease and with my hand locked with his, I forced an easy smile on my face when he led me into the front room.

She was perched nervously between Esme and Alice when our eyes first met, the golden hue unmistakable as she brought her lips up in the softest of smiles. Her dark hair fell is voluminous waves and her small upturned nose and wide eyes made her seem so gentle, so open, that I felt some strange sense of peace to be around her. I wondered if this was what it felt like to be emotionally manipulated and immediately turned to look for Jasper, wondering if our one way emotional buffet had morphed into something more.

He was standing back, watching and I knew from his stance that whatever peaceful affect she had on me, it wasn't working on him. I wondered why he was so withdrawn and then remembered our first encounter. Jasper was first and foremost a protector and this girl was an unknown. The fear I should have been feeling began to trickle in and as it did Jasper turned my way. I felt myself tense under his scrutiny and the hand which had so carelessly moulded with Edward's now felt foreign and wrong. I knew I couldn't pull away, but my fingers felt like leaden weights and with all the willpower I had, I turned back to our visitor who was now speaking.

"I hope you don't mind, but Aro believed you might have a place for me, with my gift I find it difficult to feed from humans and he spoke of how you have come to make the same choices, morally." Her words and her voice so decadently sweet and unassuming that I almost forgot myself. My hand which had begun to feel trapped whipped out of Edward's grip and was already halfway to my mouth when I caught what I was doing. I made a show of pushing my hair out of my face, but when I caught Jasper's eyes I knew I was fooling nobody. What had first been a frisson of panic escalated and when I noticed Jasper walking towards me, I tried to pull myself together, knowing if I broke down now it would all be for nothing.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked as he turned his body slightly to face mine, his expression full of concern as he held his hand out to indicate for Jasper to remain back.

All I could do was let out an unconvincing trill of laughter as I willed my emotions back, convincing myself that this could simply be a coincidence.

The hubbub around me, which actually only consisted of Edward and a slightly on edge Jasper died down almost as quickly as it had begun and as I forced my body into an oversized chair, I pulled Edward down next to me, not holding back the feelings of irritation which I directed Jasper's way.

I tried to imitate the unconcerned poses of those around me as I forced myself to switch back in to the conversation, only realising that everyone else truly was as oblivious as they seemed "…of course you may Carlisle." The girl replied and I wondered what the question had been.

"I don't really have a name for it, but Aro like to call me a Soul Feeder." Her smile continued to shine but her words brought a sense of nausea to my stomach. There was no way that I could self-justify with coincidence that something as hideous sounding as a Soul Feeder had ended up on my doorstep by chance. I knew with absolute certainty that she was pretty present, gift wrapped with a card indelibly inked with the words "Love Aro" and she was here just for me.

Her eyes met mine as her words went on and with every ounce of me that I had to give, I forced myself to think of the moments of peace, the feelings of bliss, because otherwise there was little doubt I was going to self-implode. "It happens when I touch someone which is really a saving grace because if it happened all the time, I think I would just die." Her little self-deprecating laugh made my skin crawl and without needing to raise my eyes to Jaspers, I shook my head, willing him out of my inner struggle.

"It's almost like I absorb that person, what they're feeling, what they think…even the memories attached to that thought. But I'm not like Aro, I can't go back, it's only what I get in that moment. Depending on the person it's sometimes really nice, but other times it's a little overwhelming. I can communicate back too if I want; share what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling, so sometimes it's can be very intimate." I couldn't help but notice her eyes stray to Edward as she spoke and with each flicker of her gaze I sat up just a little straighter. I didn't know who she was exactly, or what she was doing here, but I knew without doubt it wasn't going to be good.

* * *

**a/n: Someone asked if my story followed the idea of soulmates or destiny and I would have to say it most definitely does - it just might not do so in the easiest way!  
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**Thank you to everyone reading along  
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**xxx  
**


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